


dangerously

by liv_ziall



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bad Boy Zayn, Endgame Niall Horan/Zayn Malik, Established Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson, Fluff and Angst, Hurt Niall, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Innocent Niall, Multi, Niall Horan & Harry Styles Friendship, Niall Horan & Liam Payne Friendship, Niall Horan-centric, Protective Liam, Protective Zayn, Protectiveness, Zayn Malik & Louis Tomlinson Friendship
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-07
Updated: 2019-03-03
Packaged: 2019-10-24 03:06:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 21,455
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17696483
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/liv_ziall/pseuds/liv_ziall
Summary: College is tough, especially when two completely different worlds collide. Niall, called an “innocent ray of sunshine” by his friends, Liam and Harry, thought his junior year of college would be hard enough, but the new addition of the mysterious Zayn Malik into his life just made things even more complicated. Zayn comes with secrets, a leather jacket and a dark past that he doesn’t want anyone, especially Niall, getting involved with. Not to mention his history with Liam, Niall’s best friend. Through fights, cigarettes and first kisses, Niall is simply a mess of confusion and feelings as his relationship with Zayn grows into something neither of them could have ever imagined.





	1. I.

**Author's Note:**

> hi! this is my first fic that i’ve ever really shared, so sorry in advance for any grammar or spelling mistakes you might find. i really only shared this so a few of my friends (hi, evie, kiera and phoebe!) could read it easier, but if you’re not them, thanks for reading! enjoy!  
> \- liv xx

**I.**

     Niall ran a hand through his hair and leaned his head against the wall, closing his eyes. He was absolutely exhausted from setting up his new apartment all day, and he just needed a nap. Niall heard a muffled voice speaking, so he took out his earbuds and opened his eyes. “Sorry, what was that, Li?” He asked, smiling.

     Liam rolled his eyes. “Honestly, Niall. I help set up your entire apartment, help you organize your college schedule, no matter how much you were complaining, and now you don’t even listen to me?” He asked, looking at Niall pointedly.

     Niall huffed. Liam was Niall’s best friend. They met when they were roommates in their freshman year of college, and they had been close ever since. Liam was the most responsible person Niall had ever met, and he knew that Liam sometimes got annoyed at just how irresponsible Niall could be. “Sorry.” Niall mumbled, looking down.

     “It’s fine, Nialler. I asked if you wanted to get some coffee.” Liam repeated, his keys jingling in his hand.

     Niall perked up at that. He checked his phone for the time, and he looked back up at Liam hopefully. “Well, it’s almost ten. A bit late for coffee, wouldn’t you say?” He asked, continuing when Liam shrugged. “About the perfect time for the bar though, yeah?”

     Liam shook his head. “Absolutely not, Horan. I am not letting you get drunk on the first night you move in to this brand new apartment.” He said defiantly.

     Niall groaned. Sure, he got a little out of control when he was drunk, but he was responsible enough to have some self control. “Come on, Li. I won’t even get drunk. I just want to go out.” Niall pleaded, looking up at Liam through his eyelashes.

     Liam was quiet for a second, but his stern expression finally melted. “Fine.” He mumbled, cutting Niall’s celebratory cheer off with his next words. “But Harry’s coming with us.”

     “Liam…” Niall complained. He loved Harry, he really did. But the younger boy had become recently obsessed with a senior named Louis Tomlinson, and that was all he had been talking about lately. Liam looked at Niall expectantly, as if he was begging him to protest. “Fine, whatever. I’ll text him to meet us there, then we’re leaving.” Niall decided, walking back up to his room when Liam nodded.

**To Haz: _hey, wanna go out tonight with me and li? we’re going to the bar a few minutes away from campus._**

     Niall hit send and walked over to his closet, feeling the need to wear something a little nicer than a hoodie and sweatpants. He grabbed a pair of jeans and a simple light blue shirt, slipping on a pair of white slip on Vans. His phone lit up with a text from Harry, and Niall looked down at it.

      **From Haz: _Definitely! See you there. -H_ **

     Niall smiled to himself and put his phone in his pocket, walking out of his room and back downstairs to Liam. Harry always thought it was necessary to sign his texts, even though people had his contact saved to their phone. Niall didn’t really mind, though. It was just a part of what made him Harry.

     Liam looked up from his phone when Niall walked into the small living room. “What did you change for?” He asked curiously, walking out of the apartment with Niall.

     Niall shrugged. “You never know who you’re going to meet, Payno.” He answered.

    Liam rolled his eyes. “Whatever you say, Niall.” He said, shooting him a teasing glance.

     “Shut up.” Niall said, shoving the older boy into his car lightly.

     Harry and Liam always made fun of Niall’s situation regarding relationships, saying he was the “epitome of innocence”. Niall had only ever had one real relationship, and that was with his ex girlfriend, Hailee, in high school. She was his first kiss. They broke up because they were going to different colleges, but it was clear that she had moved on pretty quick, as Niall found a few different pictures online of her with a guy that he had never seen before. Of course, Niall didn’t mind. Breaking up with Hailee allowed Niall to come to terms with his bisexuality, which was something he had been pushing down for years. Niall’s parents were pretty religious, and he wasn’t sure how they would feel about his attraction to both genders. He didn’t think about it too much, though, as they were all the way back home in Ireland, and Niall was going to college in L.A. However, Niall’s bisexuality didn’t mean he had ever been with or even kissed another guy before. He was still figuring that part out.

     Liam laughed and started to drive to the bar. “Sorry. You’re just so cute and innocent!” He teased, pinching at Niall’s cheeks.

     Niall’s cheeks flushed red from the contact. “Watch it, Li. Who wanted to go out tonight?” He reminded, swatting Liam’s hands away from his face.

     “You. But only because you want to find a boyfriend!” Liam admitted, looking at Niall in amusement.

     Niall rolled his eyes. “Or a girlfriend, Liam. Eyes on the road.”

     Liam let out an audible sigh. “Yeah, yeah.” He mumbled, pulling into the parking lot of the bar. “I just want you to have your first kiss with a guy, that’s all. How do you even know you’re bisexual without having kissed a guy?” Liam wondered out loud.

     Niall looked at Liam, knowing his friend was simply curious. “I don’t know. I just like guys, too, I guess.” He said plainly, shrugging.

     Liam seemed to have accepted Niall’s simple answer, and he hummed in response. He parked the car, and the two walked into the bar. “Is Haz here?” Liam asked, sitting down at the bar.

     Niall looked at his phone to see if he had gotten any texts. “Not yet.” He said, sitting next to Liam. “Can I get a beer, please?” He asked the bartender.

     Liam looked at Niall disapprovingly. “Niall, I thought you weren’t getting drunk tonight.” He reminded.

     “One beer isn’t going to get me drunk, Li.” Niall said, scoffing. “I am Irish, after all.”

     “You and I both know you can’t handle your alcohol.” Liam put in, raising his eyebrows at the blonde.

     Niall rolled his eyes and took a drink of the beer. His response was cut off by a familiar cheery voice and arms wrapping around his frame from behind him. “Hi, Nialler!” Harry greeted from behind Niall, sitting down next to him.

     Niall grinned at his friend’s cheerfulness and turned around. “Hey, Haz. What’s got you in such a good mood?” He asked, laughing quietly.

     Harry’s smile widened, his dimples deepening. “Well, Niall, I ran into one Louis Tomlinson today.” He started to say excitedly.

     Liam interrupted with a laugh. “Here we go again.” He teased.

     “Be quiet, Li.” Harry snapped playfully. “Anyways, I walking around campus with my camera, and I wasn’t paying attention when I just walked right into him. He jumped a bit, and, long story short, my camera ended up on the ground, broken.”

     Niall looked at Harry in confusion. His friend was a photography major, and he had a few different cameras. They were all pretty important for his classes, so one of them breaking would have been a big deal. “If your camera broke, then why aren’t you sitting here, bawling your eyes out?” He asked in a teasing voice.

     Harry rolled his eyes at his friend’s dramatic assumption. “You guys are mean.” He joked. “Louis offered to buy me a new one! He’s going to take me to the mall later this week to buy a really nice, expensive, new camera! Which means we’re going to spend time together. Just us two.” Harry over explained in excitement.

     Liam and Niall cheered obnoxiously, causing Harry to blush a little at the attention. “All it took for Louis to fall in love with you was a broken camera!” Liam teased.

     “Hey, it’s not love yet. Don’t jinx it.” Harry warned, earning a laugh from Liam and Niall.

* * *

 

     The next hour or so at the bar was full of laughs, Louis related stories, and a bit more of Liam telling Niall to stop drinking. “I'm only on my second beer, Li.” Niall said for the third time that night.

     Liam was about to respond when his phone went off with a text. He looked down, then back up with wide eyes. “Shit, guys. I have to go. I have an assignment due tomorrow that I need to finish up.” Liam said apologetically.

     Niall frowned, and Harry chimed in cheerfully. “I can drive you! I've got to go, too.” He offered, knowing Niall would want to stay. “If I drive, Niall can use your car to get home.” Harry added.

     Liam looked at Niall, who nodded approvingly. He did, in fact, want to stay. “Thanks, Haz. See you later, Niall! Don't drink too much.” Liam said, walking out of the bar with Harry.

     Niall rolled his eyes and took a drink of his beer when Liam had left. He drummed his fingers on the counter, feeling a bit bored. His boredom was short lasted, though, as he soon heard a loud slam coming from behind him. Niall jumped and whipped around, as did almost everyone in the bar.

     In front of Niall was a young, black haired boy pressed against the pool table, his arm twisted behind his back painfully. The much older man holding him down whispered something in his ear, pulling him up by his collar and delivered a harsh punch to his face. Niall watched as a few people in the bar rushed out when the man hit the boy again, who fell to the ground from the impact. Niall stayed glued to his seat and waited for the man to leave before rushing over to the trembling figure on the ground. “Hey, you okay? Come on, I’ll help you up.” Niall said softly, wrapping his arm around his shoulders and helping him stand.

     When Niall looked the boy in the eyes, he was met with the most gorgeous ones staring back at him. The boy looked to be in his early twenties, maybe a bit older than Niall. He was wearing a black leather jacket with a dark gray v-neck on underneath, and Niall could see a sleeve and chest full of tattoos. “I'm fine, Blondie.” He managed to mumble out.

     Niall looked at him accusingly. “Really? You can barely stand. I'm helping you out of here.” He said in a determined voice, walking the boy out to Liam’s car and ignoring the weird looks he got from other people at the bar. Niall really had no idea why he was helping, but he felt a strong need to for some reason. So he did.

     Niall opened the door to the back seat and helped the boy in, shutting the door softly behind him. Getting into the driver’s seat, Niall turned around after starting the car. “What's your name, anyways?” He asked, curiosity getting the better of him.

     The boy blinked and looked at Niall with dull, golden eyes. “Zayn.” He said shortly, not even giving the blonde a last name or asking for his name.

     Niall hummed in reply and pulled out of the parking lot. “Where do you live, Zayn?” He asked.

     “Just down the street. In the apartment complex.” Zayn mumbled under his breath. Niall had to strain to hear him.

     After a short drive to Zayn’s small apartment, Niall helped the boy inside and laid him on the beat up couch in his living room. “Should I even ask what happened?” Niall asked, sitting down next to Zayn with an ice pack in his hand.

     Zayn looked up with a hazy gaze. He sniffed and took the ice from Niall. “Probably not, Blondie.” He admitted, looking back down.

     “Niall. My name is Niall.” Niall informed, getting more than a little sick of being called “Blondie”.

     For the first time that night, a soft smile made its way to Zayn’s face. “Whatever.” He teased.

     Niall scoffed and rolled his eyes. “I help you out, and this is what I get?” He asked, standing up to leave.

     Zayn reached a hand out to grab Niall’s arm, making the blonde look down curiously. “Thank you, Niall.” He said before shutting his eyes and falling asleep.

     Niall allowed himself to smile fondly down at the sleeping boy below him. Zayn really was quite beautiful. He had stunning golden eyes, a fantastic jawline and sharp cheekbones. His hair looked absolutely perfect, even after the fight he had. Even with the dark bruise on his cheek, Zayn really was the most attractive person Niall had ever seen. He sighed and tried not to let his imagination get the better of him. Niall scrunched his nose in disgust as he walked out of Zayn’s apartment, seeing a few cigarettes laying around on the way out, and back to Liam’s car. He ran a hand through his hair before pulling out of the apartment complex and driving back to his own place.

     When Niall walked into his apartment and up to his room, his mind was still racing with thoughts about Zayn. What he did for a living, how old he was, what his favorite color was. Anything you could ever know about a person was something that Niall wanted, needed, to know about Zayn. Most of all, he wondered what had happened to him at the bar, and who the man that nearly broke his arm was. Niall pulled his blanket up, closing his eyes and falling asleep painfully slow. That night, Niall’s dreams were filled with cigarettes, leather jackets and beautiful, golden eyes.


	2. II.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is kind of short, but the next few are pretty important!  
> \- liv xx

**II.**

Niall woke up the next morning to the loud ringing of his phone, which was lighting up brightly on his nightstand. Groaning, he picked up his phone, seeing a call from Liam. Niall sighed and answered reluctantly. “Hello?” He mumbled into the phone. 

“Niall! I’ve called you three times already!” Liam’s stern voice shot through the phone. “Where the hell are you?”

Niall blinked. “What are you talking about, Li?” He asked, yawning. 

Niall heard Liam huff in annoyance over the phone. “Are you still in bed?” He asked, continuing when Niall was silent. “Shit, Niall, it’s nine thirty in the morning! We have a nine a.m. class together, remember? Get your ass up!”

Before Niall could respond, Liam hung up the phone, leaving Niall speechless and very much awake. He groaned again and dragged himself out of bed, getting dressed lazily in a sweatshirt and a loose pair of jeans. It’s not like anyone would be looking at him, anyways. Niall grabbed his keys and a pre-made coffee from his mini fridge, walking to his car with a yawn.

* * *

 

When Niall got to class, his coffee was empty, and he could feel his body making a slow attempt at waking up. He opened the door to the class, trying to be as quiet as possible, and slipped inside, scanning the room quickly for Liam. Once he found his friend glaring back at him, Niall grinned despite himself and rushed over to sit next to him. “I hate you.” Liam muttered, handing Niall a pencil because he knew he didn’t have one. 

Niall kissed Liam on the cheek in response. “Love you, too, Li Li.” He teased, laughing quietly when Liam rubbed his cheek in mock disgust. 

At this point, Niall had nearly forgotten about Zayn. Late night thoughts and dreams of the gorgeous boy had been simply pushed to the back of his mind as he tried to concentrate on whatever his professor was rambling on about. Slumping back in his seat next to Liam, Niall sighed and twirled his pencil around in his hand. “Could this take any longer?” He mumbled under his breath. 

“I was thinking the same thing, Blondie.” A smooth, familiar voice from behind him responded. 

Niall whipped around, catching the attention of Liam. “Zayn? What the hell?” He swore, locking eyes with the boy in the seat above him. He was wearing the same leather jacket, although in the light Niall could see just how beat up it looked. Zayn had his hair brushed up neatly, contrasting from the dark bruise on his cheek. Zayn just smirked at Niall, pointing ahead in response. Niall sighed dramatically. “Meet me outside after class, Zayn. I mean it.” He said in his best demanding voice, turning around. 

Niall felt Zayn’s hot breath on his ear as the older boy leaned forward. “Was that your attempt at being stern, Blondie?” He teased, causing a noticeable chill to run down Niall’s spine. “I have to say, it was pretty cute.” Niall repressed a groan and settled for swatting Zayn’s face away with his hand, hearing the boy wince in pain behind him. He turned back around, an apologetic look on his face. Zayn cut him off before he even started. “Don’t worry about it.” He muttered, leaning back in his seat. 

Niall clenched his jaw and turned back around, meeting Liam’s confused and alarmed stare. “Niall, what the hell was that? Why are you talking to Zayn Malik?” Liam whispered.

“It’s a long story. I’ll explain later, yeah?” Niall offered, feeling much too tired to explain everything. He didn’t know how Liam knew Zayn, but he wasn’t sure he wanted to find out. Liam just nodded, turning back to the lesson. Niall could practically feel the concern radiating off of his friend. “Li, I’m okay. I’m safe. I’m not in any kind of danger. Understand?” Niall promised, looking at Liam. 

Liam looked back at Niall, his worry fading. “Yeah, yeah. I understand.” He breathed out, smiling lightly at Niall. 

Liam was the best friend Niall could ever ask for. He tended to care more about other people more than himself, especially those close to him. Liam also worried about practically everything, meaning Niall had to reassure him every now and then so that his anxiety wouldn’t get out of control. Niall didn’t mind, of course, and he was so grateful that there was always going to be someone watching out for him.

Niall ran a hand through his hair and sighed again. He glanced at his phone for the time to see how much longer he was in this class. How much longer until he could talk to Zayn.  _ Forty five minutes?  _ Niall complained mentally. This was going to be a long class, even if Niall had slept through over half of it. 

* * *

As Niall had predicted, the next forty five minutes dragged on up until the very last five, where Niall had started putting his notes away quietly. He slipped the paper he had borrowed from Liam into his bag, his anticipation to talk to Zayn growing dramatically. “Nialler, should I be worried?” Liam whispered, looking at Niall with concern. 

Niall shook his head. “No, Li. I’m going to be okay, remember?” He said, locking eyes with his friend. Niall really didn’t know why Liam was so worried. Zayn seemed harmless, not including the fight he had gotten in the night before. 

“I remember. I’m sorry.” Liam apologized, looking down. 

Niall placed a hand on Liam’s shoulder. “You’re fine, Liam. Honestly.”

Liam nodded silently, glancing back at Zayn, who held Liam’s glare accusingly. “Something you’d like to say, Payne?” He snapped, causing both Liam and Niall to flinch. 

Liam clenched his jaw, clearly biting back an equally as snappy remark. “Not right now, Malik.” He grumbled, turning back around stiffly. 

Niall’s curiosity had gotten the better of him, and he leaned over to Liam. “How do you know Zayn?” He asked quietly. 

“He’s been in a few of my classes.” Liam responded plainly. “Just… don’t get too close to him, okay? I don’t even want to know how you know him, but he’s not good, Niall. Especially not for you.” He added, putting his notebook and pencil in his bag and standing up to leave. 

Niall stood next to Liam, watching Zayn perk up from the corner of his eye. “Especially not for me?” He repeated. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Niall, you are everything that is good in the world. You’re kind, funny, positive, pretty much a ray of sunshine.” Liam said, earning an embarrassed blush from Niall, who wasn’t used to these types of compliments. “Zayn is… not. He’s got problems. Problems I don’t want you getting caught up in. Just promise me you’ll stay safe, okay? Don’t get caught up in the moment.” Liam advised, walking off with another warning glare at Zayn when Niall nodded. 

Niall watched Liam leave and turned to face Zayn, who was nearly shaking with anger. “Meet me outside, Blondie.” Zayn demanded before stalking out of the classroom, clutching his bag tightly. 

Niall swallowed.  _ Is this still a good idea? _ He asked himself, watching Zayn slam the door shut after he stormed out. Niall ran a hand through his hair.  _ Fuck it.  _ He thought, following the boy at a slightly slower pace. He opened the door and looked around for Zayn, who was sitting down at one of the tables outside. Niall took a breath and walked to the table, sitting down across from him nervously. 

Zayn spoke before Niall could say anything. “Whatever the fuck Payne said about me isn’t true. Don’t trust him.” Zayn snapped, turning to face Niall with a furious expression. 

Niall looked at Zayn in shock. “Excuse me?” He asked, offended. “I’ve known Liam for three years. I met you last night. Who the hell do you think you are to tell me who I can and can’t trust?”

Zayn clenched his jaw and flexed his arms involuntarily. “Watch it, Blondie.”

Niall scoffed. “Stop calling me ‘Blondie’!” He demanded. 

Zayn’s anger turned into amusement. “You’re cute.” He commented, making Niall’s cheeks flush in anger. “And I’m just looking out for you.”

“Since when do you care so much about me? You don’t even know me.” Niall mumbled, looking down at the table. Zayn was silent. Niall looked back up expectantly, but he just got more silence. “Fine, good talk.” He snapped, starting to stand up. 

Zayn took Niall’s hand and looked up at him with desperate eyes. “Wait, Niall. I just wanted to thank you for last night. Again.” He said, pulling Niall back down.

Niall blinked in surprise. “Uh, you’re welcome, Zayn.” He said, confused on where exactly Zayn was going with this. “Are you going to tell me what that fight was about?”

“This guy just got mad at me because I was a little late on… a promise. I’m okay, though. Thanks to you.” Zayn explained, winking at the end. 

Niall blushed a little at the wink. “Yeah, it’s no problem.” He muttered again. “What was the, um, promise?” Niall asked, trying desperately to change the subject. 

“Not important, Blondie.” Zayn said, waving his free hand in the air dismissively. 

It was at this moment when Niall realized that he was still holding Zayn’s hand. He pulled his own hand back nervously, laughing awkwardly. “So, um, Liam told me to stay away from you.” At the mention of Liam, Zayn visibly tensed up. Niall rolled his eyes. “Care to tell me what happened between you two, or is that ‘not important’ either?” He asked. 

Zayn looked surprise, making Niall feel a bit proud of himself. “Damn, Blondie! I didn’t expect any sass from you. You’re too, like, innocent and all that.” Zayn exclaimed, his accent drawing out some of his words. 

Niall rolled his eyes. “I swear, if one more person calls me innocent. And I thought I told you to stop calling me ‘Blondie’.” He complained, resting his head on his palm. 

Zayn smirked. “Well, you are kinda pure. And blonde.” He explained, laughing at Niall’s frustration. “And Liam just didn’t agree with some of the… choices I made.” Zayn finally explained, hesitating a bit. 

“I’m gonna need more than that, Zayn.” Niall said, scoffing. 

Zayn huffed. “We used to be kind of close. Then I got involved with some stuff, and he got pissed at me. We’re not friends anymore. End of story.” He concluded, clearly not wanting to talk anymore about it. 

“Fine.” Niall mumbled, accepting Zayn’s excuse for an explanation. “I expect the full story another day, okay?” He asked.

Zayn nodded. “Another day.” He repeated, looking down with dull eyes. He perked back up suddenly, eyes back to their normal state. “Earlier said that I didn’t know you. You’re right. I don’t. But I’d like to.” Zayn practically announced, catching Niall a bit off guard. “So, tell me about yourself. Starting with that accent. It’s Irish, yeah?” He asked curiously. 

Niall couldn’t help but laugh. “It is. I’m from Mullingar.” He explained with a smile. 

Niall soon found himself falling into a casual conversation with Zayn. Niall didn’t know what problem or worry Liam had with Zayn. He seemed fine, nice, even. Sure, he was a little hot headed, but Niall didn’t really think anything of it. They had been talking about nothing in particular for nearly an hour, switching from topic to topic and simply learning about each other. “You’re kinda cool, Zayn.” Niall said out of nowhere, smiling warmly. 

Zayn responded with the same soft smile he gave Niall the night before at his apartment. “You’re kinda cute, Blondie.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ziall is so pure. leave a comment if you’d like!  
> \- liv xx


	3. III.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> introducing louis (who has completely fallen for harry, if you can’t tell), who’s got a few secrets of his own.  
> \- liv xx

**III.**

Over a week later, Niall’s thoughts were filled with soft smiles and thick accents. He had gotten Zayn’s number that day after class, and they continued to text every second they got. Niall’s interest in the mysterious boy had only grown the more they talked, as he would dodge questions constantly. This didn’t stop Niall from meeting with Zayn after class, asking him more questions that were avoided. Liam still didn't trust Zayn, and he would tell Niall over and over again to avoid him. Niall didn’t listen, simply reassuring Liam that he was being safe. Which he was. 

Niall was deep in a Zayn related daydream when he heard the click of a camera going off next to him. Turning around in his seat at one of the small tables on campus, Niall came face to face with a camera. He rolled his eyes, knowing exactly who was behind the camera. “Hey, Harry.” Niall said with a laugh, pushing Harry’s camera down. 

Harry smiled widely at Niall. “Hi! This is my new camera. You know, the one Louis bought me.” He informed proudly.

“Haz! Was it expensive?” Niall asked curiously, continuing when Harry nodded furiously. “He does love you, doesn’t he?”

Before Harry could respond, a sharp voice cut into the conversation from behind him. “Who loves Harry?”

Harry jumped and turned around, his smile growing. “Lou!” He exclaimed, wrapping his arms around the boy’s waist and pulling him down to sit. “This is Niall Horan, my best friend.” Harry announced. 

Niall gave Louis a friendly smile. “Hi! Harry’s told me a lot about you, Louis.” He teased, laughing at Harry’s fierce blush. 

Louis smirked, looking at Harry expectantly. “Yeah? Well, I won’t complain about that.” He said, earning a deeper blush from Harry. “And Zayn has told me a lot about you, Niall.” Louis added, catching Niall off guard. 

“Wait, what?” Niall stuttered, looking at Louis in shock. 

Louis looked at Niall, confused. “We’re friends.” He mumbled, sounding a bit sad at the mention of Zayn. “Anyways, he talks about you a lot. What have you done to him?” Louis joked, laughing a little. 

Niall was silent, allowing Harry to speak up. “Who’s Zayn, Lou?” Harry asked. 

“A friend. I’ve known him since I was young.” Louis explained, getting Niall’s attention. “I pretty much know everything about him.” He added, smiling to himself. 

Harry turned to Niall. “How do you know him?” He asked curiously. 

Niall blinked. “Um, we met at a bar. Long story, Haz.” He mumbled, looking back at Louis. “Louis, could we, um, talk? Separately?”

Louis’ confusion seemed to grow, and he quietly asked Harry to leave. Harry stood up, nodding his goodbye to both boys. When the younger boy had left, Louis turned back to Niall. “What’s this about, then?” He asked. 

Niall took a breath. “What’s going on with Zayn? I’m good friends with Liam Payne, who does nothing but tell me to stay away from him.” He explained. 

“Liam? God, could Z have chosen a worse person to crush on?” Louis mumbled to himself quietly. He continued before Niall could question anything. “Look, Niall, you seem like a nice guy. A little innocent, maybe, but nice. Zayn’s got a lot of shit in his life right now. Shit that he wouldn’t want me to tell you.” 

Niall groaned. “Louis, I need to know.” He said, trying to sound stern. 

“I can’t, Niall. I’m sorry, really.” Louis added when Niall looked down, defeated. “I’ll talk to Z about it for you, okay?

Niall looked up and nodded. “Just one thing.” He started, continuing when Louis nodded. “Is he safe?”

Louis clenched his jaw, sighing. His response came after a long pause. “No, Niall, he's not. But he’ll be okay. We just have to believe that.”

* * *

“You still with me, Blondie?” Zayn asked, snapping his fingers in front of Niall’s face. 

Niall jumped in his seat, blinking. “Yeah, yeah.” He mumbled, readjusting to sit comfortably. 

Zayn laughed lightly, but Niall didn’t miss the concerned look on his face. “You zoned out a bit there. What’s on your mind?” Zayn asked, taking a drink of his coffee. 

Niall sighed. There was too much on his mind, really. Liam’s constant warnings of Zayn, Louis’ friendship with him, Zayn’s safety. It was all seeming to build up in Niall’s mind, and he really didn’t know why his thoughts were filled with Zayn. He had only known him for two weeks after all. “Nothing, Zayn. Sorry.” Niall said quietly, looking around the small cafe they were at to avoid Zayn’s piercing gaze. 

Zayn put his hand on top of Niall’s, causing him to look back. “Ni, what’s up?” He asked in a smooth voice. 

Niall was a little taken aback at the fact that Zayn had called him something other than “Blondie”, as well as the fact that he had used a nickname for Niall. It was kind of nice, if Niall thought about it. Nevertheless, he sighed in frustration. “It’s not like you’ll tell me anything, anyways. Just leave it.” He said, looking down. 

“I can’t, you know that.” Zayn said softly, trying to meet Niall’s eyes. 

Niall snapped his head up angrily, pulling his hand back fiercely. “Are you kidding me, Zayn?” He spat furiously, making Zayn jump in surprise. “I ask countless questions about what’s going on with you, and you dodge them every single time. And I let you because I trust you. I trust that you’re okay, that you’re safe. But the one time I’m lost in my thoughts, you can’t leave it?” Niall snapped.

Zayn’s shock quickly turned into anger. “I fucking care about you, Niall! That’s all there is to it. I need to know what’s going on with you, and you need to talk to me.” He shot back. 

“You’re one to fucking talk about caring about me, Zayn.” Niall argued. “If you really cared about me, you’d tell me what the hell you’re doing. I talked to Louis Tomlinson. He won’t tell me shit, but he did tell me that you aren’t safe. So you talk to me, Zayn.”

Zayn clenched his jaw and looked away. “Fucking Tomlinson. Can’t trust him, can I?” He muttered to himself, standing up from the table angrily. “Just fucking stay away from me, Horan. I don’t want to see you anywhere near me. Got it?” Zayn snapped, storming out of the cafe before Niall got the chance to respond. 

Niall sat at the table, alone and shocked, staring at the door Zayn had slammed shut. His mind raced with hateful thoughts towards the boy, as if he was trying to convince himself to hate Zayn as much as Zayn seemed to hate him. Niall walked out of the cafe and into his car, slamming the door just as furiously as Zayn slammed the cafe door. He sat in the driver’s seat, not bothering to start the car at all. He was too busy thinking about Zayn. After a while, Niall sighed and ran a hand through his hair, lost in thought. His anger slowly faded into regret as his hateful thoughts against Zayn slowed. He closed his eyes and leaned his head back against the seat.  _ What the hell did I just do? _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh dang, the first (of many) ziall fights. maybe liam was right about zayn.  
> \- liv xx


	4. IV.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lots of stuff happens in this chapter. zayn’s not doing well.   
> \- liv xx

**IV.**

It had been three weeks after Zayn had stormed out of the cafe, and Niall hadn’t seen him since. It wasn’t for lack of trying, as he went to all of the spots around campus where they would talk, looking for Zayn, but the older boy didn’t even show up to his classes. Niall was more than a little worried. Liam, on the other hand, was not. 

“Look, Niall. He's a bad influence.” Liam said for the millionth time, leaning back on Niall’s couch. “Personally, I'm glad he's out of your life. You should be, too.”

Niall looked at Liam angrily. “What the hell, Liam? You know I care about him.” He snapped, causing Liam to sit up, alarmed. “Would you just tell me what makes him such a bad influence?”

Liam sighed and looked at Niall. “I used to be friends with him, you know that. He got involved with really messed up stuff, and I just can't trust him anymore, Niall. I'm sorry, I know that you care about him, I just can't…” He trailed off, looking down with teary eyes. 

No matter how much Niall wanted to, he knew he shouldn't press Liam anymore. It was clear that what happened with Zayn was personal to his friend, and Niall knew Liam’s boundaries. He rested his hand on Liam’s back soothingly, causing the older boy to look up weakly. “Hey, Li, it's alright. I'm sorry for pushing you so hard lately. You don't need to tell me anymore if you don't want to, yeah?” Niall said calmly, wrapping his friend in a tight hug. “I love you, Li. Nothing is going to change that, okay?”

Niall felt Liam nod against his shoulder. “Love you too, Niall.” He mumbled into Niall’s blonde hair, pulling apart with a warm smile. “Thank you.” Liam said, taking a deep breath. “I'm sorry.” He mumbled after a while. 

Niall shook his head. “Don't apologize, Li.” He said sternly. 

Liam nodded again, looking away from Niall with another deep breath. “I should probably get going. Harry and I are meeting in the library in a few.” He said, standing up. “Thank you, Niall.” Liam repeated, giving the blonde one last hug before walking out of his apartment. 

Niall sat back on his couch, not really sure how to feel after the conversation with Liam. He still didn't know what Zayn got involved with, but he knew that other people were involved. Niall jumped when his phone went off all of a sudden, scaring him out of his thoughts. 

**From Zayn (1):** **_Could you come over? Like now?_ **

**From Zayn (2):** **_Shit, never mind I’m ok_ **

**From Zayn (3):** **_Ignore that_ **

Niall jumped up from the couch, holding his phone tightly. He reread Zayn’s last text, telling him to ignore the previous ones, and made a very quick decision to do the exact opposite. Niall grabbed his keys and rushed out the door into his car. He drove to Zayn’s apartment, remembering where it was from the night after the bar. Niall didn’t even bother texting Zayn back.

When Niall parked his car by Zayn’s apartment, his heart was racing. He ran out and to Zayn’s door, knocking loudly. After a few seconds, a very tired looking Zayn answered the door, turning away when he saw Niall standing in the doorway. “Shit, Blondie! I told you not to come!” Zayn yelled when Niall walked in and shut the door. 

Niall glared at Zayn. “You can’t just text me for the first time in three weeks, telling me to come over, and expect me not to be here!” He snapped. “What would you do if it were me? Don’t even try to tell me you wouldn’t be at my place because I know you would.”

Zayn glared right back, his arms flexing. He was about to respond with a scathing remark, before sighing and sitting on his beat up couch, running his hands through his hair. “I’m sorry, Niall.” Zayn mumbled quietly, keeping his eyes trained on the ground. 

Niall sat down next to him, not hearing what he had said. “What?” He asked, looking at Zayn calmly.

“I said I’m sorry!” Zayn repeated loudly, looking back at Niall with teary eyes. 

     Niall flinched at Zayn’s loud reply, and he drew in a sharp breath.  “It’s okay, Zayn. It’s okay.” He said, pulling the older boy in for a hug. 

     Zayn wrapped his arms around Niall’s waist, pulling apart with a half smile. “I didn’t mean to lose it in the cafe. I’m so sorry I hurt you, Ni. I understand if you never want to talk to me ever again, but I-”

     It was at that moment, where Zayn was rambling on and on with apologies, when Niall smashed his lips against his, eyes shut tight. He heard Zayn let out a surprised noise at the contact, but he soon felt Zayn’s hand tangle in the hair at the base of Niall’s neck. Niall tilted his head up to deepen the kiss, feeling completely lost. Luckily, Zayn took the lead and turned towards Niall to take control. Niall let Zayn gently push him down on the couch and climb on top of him, breaking the kiss to breathe. 

     “Shit, Z.” Niall gasped out, looking up at Zayn, breathless. 

     Zayn smirked down at Niall. “First kiss, Ni?” 

     Niall rolled his eyes and nodded. “With a guy.” He admitted, blushing. 

     Zayn responded with another, more gentle, kiss to Niall’s lips. He broke off shortly after, smiling that soft smile. “What do you think?” He asked.

     “It’s amazing. You’re amazing, Zaynie.” Niall responded, smiling. 

     “Zaynie?” Zayn repeated, laughing quietly. 

     Niall pushed at Zayn’s chest lightly. “Shut up.” He teased. 

     Zayn laughed again, looking down at Niall fondly. “I kinda like it. Coming from you, no one else.” He declared, making Niall’s heart skip. Zayn leaned back down, kissing Niall softly. He arched his neck to bring himself towards Zayn’s lips desperately, wrapping his arms loosely around his neck. 

     Niall hadn’t realized just how strong Zayn was until that moment, where the older boy’s arms flexed while he held himself over Niall, kissing him passionately. Niall felt completely new to everything that was happening, and he wasn’t exactly sure how he should be reacting to it. His hands moved from Zayn’s neck to his back, pulling him in closer. Niall’s cheeks were flushed, and he felt Zayn’s hands slide under his shirt slowly. 

     A loud banging on the door interrupted Zayn and Niall, and the two jumped up, looking at the door. Zayn scrambled off the couch and locked his door, turning his attention to Niall. “Ni, go down that hall and into my room, okay? Don’t come out until I say so, okay?” Zayn asked, pointing towards his room. 

     Niall blinked and stood up. “What? Zayn, what’s going on?” He asked, worried. 

     “I don’t have time to explain, Niall! Just go, okay? And don’t come out, no matter what you hear. Please, Ni.” Zayn begged, gripping Niall’s shoulders and practically steering him to his room. Niall nodded, breathing quickly. Zayn let out a sigh of relief and kissed him quickly. “Thank you.” He said, voice breaking. Zayn shut the door softly, and Niall heard his rushed footsteps back towards the front door, unlocking it. 

     Niall cracked the door open enough for him to hear what was going on, and he flinched at the sound of muffled, angry voices in the other room. He teared up when he heard Zayn let out a few pained yelps, as well as the sound of punches. Niall closed the door and squeezed his eyes shut.  _ Don’t go out there, don’t go out there.  _ He repeated over and over again in his head, his hand resting on the doorknob. 

     “Please! I’m sorry!” Niall heard Zayn beg from the living room, followed by a loud crash and another yelp. 

     Niall couldn’t take it. He threw open the bedroom door and rushed into the living room, spotting Zayn shaking on the ground. “Zayn!” He exclaimed, causing the older boy to look up fearfully. 

     There were three men in the room. Two were standing by the door, while the other kicked at and punched Zayn senseless. He stopped once Niall rushed in the room, staring at him furiously. The man pulled Zayn up by his hair and turned him in Niall’s direction. “Who the hell is this, Malik?” He asked, causing Zayn to shiver. 

     The Zayn that Niall saw being held up in front of him was a completely different person than the one Niall had been kissing just a few minutes ago. This Zayn was vulnerable and desperate, rather than fierce and defiant. He had bruises all over his body, a busted lip and, by the way Zayn was taking shallow breaths, a broken rib. Niall could do nothing but stand and stare. 

     “No one, sir. Just a friend.” Zayn answered quickly, looking at Niall with wide eyes. “He doesn’t know anything, and he won’t. I swear.”

     The man let go of Zayn’s hair, and Zayn stumbled a bit at the sudden movement. “This isn’t over, Malik. I expect you to sell double this week, and give all the money to me. You’re not getting anything for a while.” He declared, walking out of Zayn’s apartment with the other two men, slamming the door shut. 

     Zayn and Niall were silent for a moment, both staring at the door in case the men came back. Zayn then let out a pained whine, and Niall rushed to his side, leading him gently towards the couch and sitting him down. Once Zayn was seated, Niall got an ice pack from the freezer, remembering where they were from that night after the bar. Niall pressed the ice pack to Zayn’s face, holding it in place despite the older boy wincing in pain. The two sat in silence, Niall holding the ice pack and Zayn clutching his stomach. 

     Zayn was the first one to break the quiet. “I told you to stay in my room.” He managed to say through shallow breaths. 

     Niall tried his best not to walk right out of Zayn’s apartment. “Not now, Z. Please.” He begged, looking at Zayn desperately. “I couldn’t just stay in there, you know that.” Niall tried.

     Zayn blinked a few tears from his eyes. “No, Niall, you don’t understand.” He mumbled, sniffing a little. 

     “Then help me understand. Please, Zayn. Tell me what is going on.” Niall pleaded, moving the ice pack to look Zayn in the eyes. 

     Zayn looked back helplessly. He was quiet for a moment, then he sighed in defeat. “You really want to know, Niall? You want to know how fucked up the guy who just stole your first kiss is? Because, I can tell you, but you can’t walk out of here, Ni. You can’t leave me like Payne did.” Zayn said, a few tears getting caught on his eyelashes. 

     Niall flinched at the mention of Liam. He decided to let it pass for now, focusing on Zayn opening up. Niall took Zayn’s hand. “Zayn Malik, I’m not going anywhere.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yay, first ziall kiss! but not yay, zayn got beat up!  
> \- liv xx


	5. V.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> finally, there’s an explanation of what’s going on. yay!  
> \- liv xx

**V.**

Zayn swallowed hard, looking away from Niall. “Promise?” He asked in a broken voice. 

Niall felt his heart break. “Promise.” He swore, squeezing Zayn’s hand comfortingly. 

Zayn took a breath, looking at back Niall. Niall watched him hesitate before speaking, and he held his breath anxiously. “In the past, I’ve had… run ins with, like, drugs and all.” Zayn admitted quietly, avoiding Niall’s gaze. “Don’t freak out.” He added. 

Niall just nodded. He had a few ideas of what was going on with Zayn, and drugs had been his main one. “What, um, what have you done?” He asked hesitantly. 

“Weed, mostly. Some harder stuff, too.” Zayn answered vaguely, shrugging. 

“Zayn.” Niall warned. “I need to know everything, okay?”

Zayn nodded. “Sorry.” He apologized before continuing. “Club drugs. Like, MDMA, LSD and a little bit of… cocaine.” Zayn admitted awkwardly, running a hand through his hair. 

Niall bit back a groan. “Shit, Z, you’re going to kill yourself with all that.” He said. “Do you still do drugs?” 

“Only sometimes.” Zayn said quietly, looking up at Niall. 

Niall looked right back at Zayn. “You’re really fucking stupid, Zayn.” He said matter of factly, causing Zayn to flinch a little. “And you’re so smart and talented, and this just makes no sense. You have all this potential, and you’re killing yourself!” Niall exclaimed, probably a little too loud. 

Zayn clenched his jaw, his eyes flickering in anger. “I didn’t ask you to tell me how to live my life, Niall!” He yelled out, clearly in pain from the beating he had gotten earlier. “You wanted to know, and now you do!”

“What, do you shoot heroin, too? Because that’s exactly what I fucking need right now!” Niall accused, standing up from the couch. 

Zayn looked up at Niall furiously. “No, Niall! I don’t shoot heroin!” He said angrily. He took a breath, clearly trying to calm down. Zayn reached up to hold Niall’s hands, pulling him down lightly. “Please, calm down, and listen to me. There’s still a bit more you need to know.” Zayn asked softly. 

Niall was breathing harshly, staring right into Zayn’s eyes. “I don’t want you to die, Zaynie.” He said quietly, voice breaking. 

“Ni, I’m not going to die.” Zayn said softly, squeezing Niall’s hands. “Should we maybe have the rest of this conversation later?” He asked carefully. 

Niall shook his head. “No, Zayn, I need to know everything. Right now.” He said defiantly, sounding much more sure of himself than he felt. 

Zayn nodded. “Okay. Just, don’t freak out, yeah?” He asked, continuing when Niall nodded silently. “A few years ago, I was in a really tight spot with money. I was about to get kicked out of my apartment until I met Liam.” Zayn began. 

Niall blinked at the mention of his friend. “Liam?” He repeated. 

“Payne. Your friend.” Zayn explained, leaving Niall speechless. He knew they were friends, but he didn’t know what Liam had to do with drugs. “Liam, um, helped me out with the money situation. He lent me some money, and introduced me to this guy, who got me a job.” Zayn paused, breaking eye contact.

Niall swallowed hard. “What was the job, Z?” He asked quietly, tracing circles over Zayn’s hands comfortingly. 

“I’m a drug dealer, Niall.” Zayn said shortly, staring at the ground.

Niall froze, looking at Zayn in shock. “W-what?” He stammered out, taking his hands away from Zayn’s slowly. 

Zayn shut his eyes and turned his head away from Niall, moving his hands to his lap. “When I met my boss, the guy Liam introduced me to, he seemed nice. Like he could get me back on track. But he just lied to me over and over again, and I was too desperate and naive to see what was going on. And now I-” Zayn’s voice broke, and Niall watched as a tear fell down his bruised cheek. 

“Z, it’s okay. Really.” Niall said softly, putting his hand on Zayn’s shoulder. 

Zayn looked up, his eyes wet with tears. “It’s not, Ni! How can you say that any of this is okay?” He asked, defeated. 

Niall took a shaky breath, a few tears falling from his eyes. He grabbed Zayn’s hand again, looking him in the eyes seriously. “Zayn, I hate that you’re doing this, but you have to understand that this isn’t your fault, okay? I’m not mad at you. I just want you to be safe, and you’re not.” Niall said, taking a breath before continuing. “Was that guy that just beat you up your boss?”

Zayn nodded. “Yeah, that was him. He goes by Cowell.” 

Niall blinked, a thought suddenly coming to his mind. “Wait, Liam introduced you to him?” He asked. Zayn nodded, seeming to know that Niall would ask this. “How the hell does Liam know this guy? And why would he even let you near him?” Niall exclaimed.

Zayn shook his head. “I don’t know, Ni, but, please, don’t stop being friends with Liam over this. He’s a good guy, I really believe that. I don’t want you to lose your best friend because of me.” 

“I have to talk to him about this, Z, you know that.” Niall admitted, watching Zayn’s chest rise and fall with a shaky breath. “What happened next?” He asked, going back to tracing circles on Zayn’s hand with his thumb. 

Zayn ran his free hand through his hair. “After I started getting into drugs and dealing and all, Liam got pissed at me. He kept saying how I needed to stop, even though he was the one who introduced me to Cowell. We kept getting in fights, and we eventually just stopped talking.” Zayn mumbled. 

Niall blinked, understanding the tension between them a few weeks ago after class. “Wow.” He said, shocked. “And Louis? How do you know him?” 

A small smile made its way to Zayn’s face. “Lou and I have been friends ever since we were young. He’s been trying to help me out of this mess ever since I got in it.” 

“What about your family back in Bradford? Are they helping?” Niall asked.

Zayn laughed weakly. “They don’t even know about it, Blondie.” He said, bringing back Niall’s old nickname. “It’s just Louis helping me, anyways.”

Niall rested his hand on Zayn’s cheek lightly, causing the older boy to look at him curiously. “And me.” He said, placing a kiss to Zayn’s lips. 

Zayn broke apart with a shake of his head. “Absolutely not, Niall. It’s bad enough Cowell saw you.” He explained, running his hand through his hair again. “You’re not getting involved with any of this shit, got it?” Zayn asked sternly, making Niall flinch. 

“No, Zayn. I’m going to help you, whether you like it or not.” Niall shot back, standing up suddenly. “Do you have a first aid kit? Your rib is broken.” He asked before Zayn could argue. 

Zayn blinked. “Um, there’s one in the hall. I’ll get it.” He said, starting to stand next to Niall. 

Niall whipped around and pushed Zayn back down lightly. “No, Zayn. You’re going to let me take care of you, got it?” He snapped, repeating Zayn’s words from earlier. 

Zayn narrowed his eyes at Niall, but he stayed where he was on the couch. “Got it.” He mumbled. 

Niall nodded in approval, walking into the hall to get the kit. His mind was racing with thoughts, and he couldn’t seem to focus on anything. Niall groaned quietly and opened a cabinet, taking the first aid kit out. “A fucking drug dealer.” Niall mumbled to himself, turning around to walk back into the living room. “I’ve fallen for, Zayn Malik, a fucking drug dealer.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh dang, niall is really feeling all the feelings.  
> \- liv xx


	6. VI.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this one is kinda short, but it’s cute! enjoy!  
> \- liv xx

**VI.**

When Niall walked back into the living room, Zayn was sitting on the couch, smirking. “Fallen, eh?” He asked.

Niall blushed furiously. Zayn was not supposed to hear that. “What?” He asked, sitting down next to Zayn and busying himself by going through the first aid kit. 

Niall felt Zayn’s hand brush against his cheek, and he felt hot breath on his ear. “Correct me if I’m wrong, Blondie, but I’m pretty sure I just heard you say that you’ve fallen for me.” He whispered into Niall’s ear, flicking his tongue across the tip before leaning back. 

A chill ran down Niall’s spine, but he quickly shook his head, bringing him back to the conversation. “Nope, absolutely not.” Niall denied, taking out a few bandages from the kit and turning to Zayn. Niall started to wrap the bandages around Zayn’s ribs, but Zayn stopped him. 

“Don’t wrap it.” Zayn said, guiding Niall’s hand away from his ribs. Niall looked at Zayn questioningly. “It limits the breathing.” Zayn explained. “I really just need ice and some pain medicine.”

Niall’s confusion grew. “How do you know all this, Z?” He asked, grabbing a cold ice pack from the freezer and pain medicine from the counter, sitting back down next to Zayn. 

“This isn’t the first time I’ve broken a rib, Niall.” Zayn said quietly, taking a deep breath. 

Niall got quiet. “Oh.” He mumbled, handing Zayn the medicine and ice. 

Zayn shook his head as if to clear his thoughts and pressed the ice against his ribs, swallowing a bit of pain medicine. “Anyways, did I hear you say to yourself that you’ve fallen for me?” He asked with a smirk. 

“You sure didn’t, Z.” Niall said defiantly, but his blush gave it away. 

Zayn pouted. “Shame.” He said, shrugging. 

Niall shook his head, a smile making its way to his face. “And? So what if I did say that?”

“Well, then I’d probably say that there's a certain innocent blonde that I’ve had my eye on.” Zayn said, mirroring Niall’s smile. 

“Oh.” Niall said again shortly, his cheeks flushing red. 

Zayn’s eyes sparkled with mischief, and he turned to face Niall, leaning in close. “Tell me this is mutual, Blondie.” He whispered, licking his lips. 

Niall responded by placing his hand on Zayn's cheek and kissing him softly. He felt Zayn smile into the kiss, and he wrapped his arms around his neck. Zayn moved his hands to grip Niall’s waist, squeezing tightly. Niall let out a quiet moan when Zayn forced his tongue in his mouth, and he broke apart after a while to breathe. “Was that a good enough answer, Zaynie?” Niall asked.

Zayn opened his mouth to reply, but the only thing that came out was a cry of pain when he turned a little too far. “Shit.” He swore, carefully turning back. 

Niall immediately pressed the ice to Zayn’s ribs, ignoring the hiss of pain the older boy let out at the contact. “No more making out with broken ribs.” He decided, earning an eye roll from Zayn. 

“Please, Ni, I’m fine.” Zayn mumbled, turning again. He let out another pained yelp before shifting back with a sigh. 

Niall looked at Zayn expectantly. “That’s what I thought.” He said determindley. “Now sit still, Z.” Niall ordered, pressing the ice pack back to Zayn’s ribs. 

Zayn huffed, looking at Niall fondly. “What would I do without you, Ni?” He asked, leaning down to kiss the top of Niall’s head. 

Niall looked back up at Zayn seriously. “That’s what I’m afraid to find out, Zayn.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> again, sorry it’s so short, but the next few should be a bit longer!  
> \- liv xx


	7. VII.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi again! sorry it took a while to update. this chapter is pretty long, though, so enjoy!  
> \- liv xx

**VII.**

It had been over a week since that night. Zayn’s bruises had finally faded, and his rib was almost back to normal. Niall was still getting used to the fact that Zayn was a drug dealer and had a rough history with Liam, who still didn’t know a thing about what happened when Niall went over to Zayn’s that night. Niall knew he should tell his friend, he really did. But knowing that Liam and Zayn weren’t exactly on speaking terms made it much harder for Niall to even mention him. 

“Niall, are you even listening to me right now?” A sharp voice cut into Niall’s thoughts,

Niall blinked and looked up from his desk at Louis, who was sitting on Niall’s bed, swinging his legs back and forth. “Yeah.” Niall mumbled, nodding his head and turning back to his work. “You were going on about Harry, Lou.”

Louis and Niall had become close friends through both Harry and Zayn. Niall loved hanging out with Louis, as he felt carefree. Louis always made him laugh, no matter what thoughts were racing in his mind. 

Louis huffed and got up from Niall’s bed, wrapping his arms around the blonde’s frame from behind him. “Still on about Zayn, then?” He asked.

“How can I not be?” Niall mumbled, leaning back into Louis’ chest. “He’s a drug dealer, Louis! And I fucking made out with him!”

Louis turned Niall’s chair around, locking eyes with the boy. “Niall, he’s going to be okay. I’ve been helping him out ever since this whole thing started, but you have to understand why he doesn’t want you involved.” Louis said seriously. “Zayn just wants you safe.”

Niall looked back at Louis desperately. “Doesn’t he understand that I just want the same for him?” He asked in a quiet voice. 

Louis was silent. He looked away from Niall, clearly unsure of what to say. After a minute, Louis looked back at Niall, sighing. “Have you talked to Liam yet?” He asked, changing the subject. 

“No.” Niall admitted. He knew that Liam would know what to do. He always did. “But this is different, Lou! Zayn isn’t just another guy that I’ve liked, we actually kissed and all. Not to mention that he and Li hate each other.” He mumbled.

Louis shook his head. “I wouldn’t say they hate each other.” He defended half heartedly. 

“Liam is the whole reason Zayn is in this mess! Every time I mention Z, Liam gets pissed!” Niall argued angrily. “They hate each other, Lou.”

Louis grabbed Niall’s shoulders and shook him lightly. “Get a grip, Niall!” He shouted, making the blonde flinch. “What would you do if this wasn’t Zayn? If this was someone who Liam didn’t know?”

Niall blinked. “Tell him.” He said shortly. 

“And what do you think Liam would say if he found out you’re hiding all this from him?” Louis asked, gripping Niall’s shoulders tighter. 

“He already knows Zayn sells drugs!” Niall shot back, confused and angry. 

Louis scoffed and pushed Niall’s chair back lightly. “But he doesn’t know that you still care about him. You need to tell Liam how you feel about Zayn. Liam is a good guy, he really is. Even if he messed up with Zayn, he just wants what’s best for you. And you need to tell him what the hell is going on, got it?”

Niall’s glare at Louis softened with understanding, and he nodded. “Got it.” He mumbled, taking a breath. “Thanks, Lou.” Niall said after a while, smiling at his friend softly. 

Louis smiled right back and ruffled Niall’s hair. “Don’t thank me.” He said. “I’m just looking out for you, Niall.”

* * *

Niall perked up when his front door opened. He turned around and saw Liam walking into the apartment curiously. “Niall?” He called out.

“On the couch, Li.” Niall said, smiling when Liam sat down next to him. 

Liam looked at Niall, concern showing in his gaze. “Are you, um, are you okay?” He asked. “Your text was pretty… scary.”

Niall immediately felt bad. He had texted Liam to come over right away, saying it was an emergency. Niall didn’t mean to stress his friend out, he just knew that if he didn’t tell Liam about Zayn right then, he wouldn’t tell him ever. 

Niall hesitated. “I know about Zayn.” He said shortly, not meeting Liam’s eyes. 

“Oh.” Liam mumbled, swallowing hard. “And?”

Niall looked up. “And I still care about him, Li.”

Liam ran a hand through his hair, shaking his head. “Shit, Niall.” He swore. “How did you even find out? Did he tell you? He better not have, I told him-”

Niall cut Liam’s rant off. “Woah, Liam, calm down. I’ll explain everything, I promise.” He said, pausing to register what Liam had started to say. “Wait, what did you tell him?”

Liam looked away, swearing under his breath. “Nothing, we don’t talk. But you know that already, don’t you?” He snapped icily.

Niall flinched. He hated when Liam got mad. “Well, yeah. But I wanted to hear your side.” Niall mumbled, holding his breath and hoping he hadn’t said the wrong thing. 

Clearly he had, as Liam whipped around to face Niall angrily. “And since when do you care about anything I tell you?” He said furiously. “I tell you over and over again to stay away from Zayn, and once you find out why, you tell me that you still have feelings for him? Tell me honestly, Niall, would anything I say change your opinion on Zayn?” Liam asked, glaring at a shaking Niall. 

“Look, Liam, I just wanted to explain, okay? If this is going to piss you off, then I’ll shut up, but I’m not going to fight with you.” Niall said, trying to stay calm. He hoped Liam hadn’t noticed how he avoided his last question, as Niall really didn’t know the answer. 

Liam nodded, but his furious glare at Niall held. “Fine. Explain everything.”

And Niall did. He told Liam absolutely everything, not leaving out a single detail. He told Liam how Zayn had texted him to come over, taking it back seconds after he sent it. He told Liam how Zayn had stolen his first kiss with a guy, and Liam couldn’t hide a proud smile. Niall felt the tension in the room lighten. “Was that a smile, Li?” He teased. 

Liam rolled his eyes, his smile growing despite himself. “I can’t help it, I’m proud. Even if it was with Malik.” 

Niall smiled and slapped Liam’s arm playfully. He continued explaining, and he eventually got to the part with Cowell, Zayn’s boss. Liam stopped Niall before he could continue. 

“Wait, he saw you?” Liam asked, concern lacing his voice. 

Niall nodded. “Zayn seemed worried about that, too. Is something wrong with him seeing me?”

Liam didn’t answer. “Did he get your name, Niall?” He asked, sounding even more concerned. 

Niall blinked. “What the hell does my name-”

Liam cut him off by grabbing his bicep and shaking his arm roughly. “Answer the damn question, Niall!” He yelled, making Niall pull his arm away fearfully. 

“No! Calm down, Li, he didn’t get my name!” Niall yelled back, rubbing his bicep. 

Liam took a breath of relief. “At least Malik did one thing right.” He mumbled. “Keep talking, then, Niall. Zayn got beat up, Cowell left, then what?”

It took Niall a second to catch his breath, as he was a bit shaken up from Liam’s yelling. He continued, however, telling Liam about Zayn’s broken rib, the making out and the fact that Niall ended up spending the night. “Then I woke up the next morning in his bed. He was already awake, we talked for a minute, then I left.” Niall finished. 

Liam stared at Niall. “You slept over?” He asked, grinning when Niall nodded. “Damn, didn't expect that from you, Horan.” Liam commented, ruffling Niall’s blonde hair. 

Niall glared at Liam playfully. “Shut up.” He said, laughing quietly. 

The two joked about Niall’s sudden loss of innocence a bit more before Liam’s seriousness kicked in again. “I’m sorry for yelling at you earlier.” He mumbled, looking down. 

“It's okay, Li, really.” Niall assured, resting his hand on Liam’s comfortingly. “Please, just tell me what happened with you and Z. Why'd you introduce him to Cowell? It's what got him in this mess.”

Liam sighed, staring at the ground. “I didn't mean it, Niall.” He said quietly, causing Niall to have to strain to hear him. “I knew the kind of business Cowell was in, but I remember hearing stories about how well it paid. Some people told me that he'd let you out of you wanted. I didn't know it would lead to this, Niall, I swear.” Liam swore, looking up pleadingly. 

Niall took a breath. “It's okay, Li, I believe you.” He said calmly. “Why haven't you told Zayn that?”

“I can’t even look at him without feeling awful. I got him into this absolute hell, and now he can't get out. To make it worse, instead of helping him when this all started, I put all the blame on him because I couldn't accept the fact that I was the one who fucked up!” Liam explained, his voice growing in volume. 

Niall flinched a bit when Liam swore, something he didn't do often. “Li, it's alright. Don't blame yourself for all this.”

Liam looked at Niall with furious eyes. “But it is my fault, Niall! Don’t you fucking get it?” He snapped.

Instinctively, Niall took his hand away from Liam’s. “Zayn doesn't blame you! He told me he still believed, he still knew, you're a good person.” Niall argued. “Yes, you messed up. Yes, you hurt him. But you can fix it, Li.”

Liam took a shaky breath, his next words coming out brokenly. “How?”

Niall said his next words seriously, locking eyes with Liam. “Help me get him out, Liam.” 

Liam nodded, taking another breath. He looked at Niall with a small smile. “Can’t believe you kissed Malik, of all people.”

Niall laughed. “Shut up.” He mumbled, shoving Liam lightly. Really, the more Niall thought about it, the more he couldn’t believe it either. But it had happened. He Niall Horan, had kissed Zayn Malik, a hot drug dealer who had way more problems than Niall could ever imagine to fix. But, they kissed. And the more Niall thought about it, the more he wanted to kiss Zayn again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> leave a comment or kudos if you liked it! the next chapter should be coming pretty soon.   
> \- liv xx


	8. VIII.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi! sorry again for the wait, but here’s a pretty long chapter with some cute ziall things and all!  
> \- liv xx

**VIII.**

Zayn was in Niall’s bedroom, and Niall was freaking out. Internally, of course, but he was still freaking out. He hadn’t ever really been in this situation before, and Zayn, who had been in this situation many times, definitely knew it. “Nervous, Blondie?” He teased, winking at Niall from across the room. “Nothing’s even happening. Yet.”

Niall whipped around from his desk, giving Zayn a glare. “Watch it, Z. I didn’t even invite you over. You just-” He trailed off, thinking about what Zayn had done. 

Niall had a large amount of work to get done for his classes, and he had been looking at a computer screen or a worksheet for the last few hours. He really only had a little bit of work left to do before there was a loud knock at his door, and Niall was face to face with a smirking, sexy Zayn in a leather jacket and tight jeans. Zayn had quickly smashed his lips against Niall’s, pushing himself inside and shutting the door behind him. After around half an hour, Niall had managed to pull away and back to his desk, leaving Zayn sitting on Niall’s bed, clearly bored out of his mind. 

“I just burst into your apartment and kissed you, Ni?” Zayn’s smooth voice cut through Niall’s memory. “But you liked it, didn’t you? Like how I just took control like that, babe?” He asked, getting up from the bed and making his way towards Niall. 

Niall inhaled sharply, trying to hold a steady glare at Zayn. “Zayn…” He started to say, trailing off again with a breath when Zayn pulled Niall up and started leaving hot kisses on his neck. Niall pulled away defiantly. “No, Zayn. I just have a little more work to do.”

Zayn didn’t stop. He snaked his hands under Niall’s shirt and pulled it off, smiling at the way Niall didn’t stop him from doing so. Zayn tore himself off of Niall’s neck to look at him. “You’ve been studying for hours, baby. Take a break, yeah?” He offered, wrapping his arms around Niall’s waist.

Niall put his hands on Zayn’s chest and looked up at him. “You wish, Zaynie.” He teased, kissing the older boy’s nose lightly. Okay, maybe Niall had gotten more comfortable teasing Zayn. His physical relationship with Zayn had definitely grown since the first kiss, and he would be lying if he said he didn’t love every second of it. 

“Come on, Ni. I’m dying here.” Zayn complained, gripping Niall’s hips tighter. 

“Again, I didn’t invite you. You can leave whenever you want if you’re really that bored.” Niall offered innocently, shrugging. 

Zayn’s smile grew. “What happened to your nerves, Blondie? Finally feeling a bit more confident, yeah?” He asked, continuing happily when Niall blushed. “And I’m not bored, baby.”

Niall rolled his eyes. “Yeah, yeah.” He mumbled, waving his hand in the air. “Seriously, Z, I need to work.”

Again, Zayn didn’t stop. He continued laying hot, open mouthed kisses across Niall’s neck, pausing to nudge his nose behind his ear. Zayn’s breath felt warm and damp against Niall’s skin, and his lips ghosted across the side of Niall’s jaw before licking behind his ear. Niall felt a chill run down his spine, and he bit his lip to stop a desperate whine from escaping. 

Zayn moved back down to Niall’s jaw, kissing roughly. Niall grabbed Zayn’s bicep tightly, and he whimpered against the older boy’s shoulder. Zayn ran his hands along Niall’s chest, traveling over the skin. Niall leaned into the touch before Zayn hooked his arms around Niall’s thighs and lifted him up suddenly. 

“Zayn!” Niall gasped against Zayn’s lips, making them tingle with the vibration. 

Zayn hummed and wrapped Niall’s legs around his own waist and pressed him against the wall. Niall’s head fell back against the wall with a quiet moan when Zayn leaned in and pressed hot kisses down his neck. Zayn smiled into the kisses when he heard the noises that Niall was clearly trying to keep in. 

Zayn grinded his hips forward slowly, making sure Niall was comfortable before doing anything. The sounds Niall let out and the way he bit harshly on Zayn’s collarbone told him that the younger boy was more than comfortable, so Zayn continued happily. 

“Zayn, shit.” Niall swore, whining while he tugged on Zayn’s hair and pulled him away from his throat. 

Zayn stared at Niall without blinking. “Did you know that you’re absolutely beautiful?” He asked softly. 

Niall felt his cheeks heat up. “Shut up, Z.” He mumbled, giving the boy a look. 

“If you keep looking at me like that, Ni, I won’t be able to control myself anymore.” Zayn declared seriously. 

Niall blinked and reached out to touch Zayn’s cheek. “What do you mean?” He asked.

Zayn looked Niall in the eyes when he spoke. “Ni, you’re irresistible. I want you.” He said softly. “I want all of you. I want to fuck you so hard you won’t even remember your own name.” Zayn continued, whispering into Niall’s ear. 

Niall swallowed hard. He wanted that, he really did. But he had only known Zayn for a little over a month. A part of Niall just wasn’t ready. He knew that. He just hoped Zayn did, too.

Luckily, Zayn pulled back, refocusing on Niall’s eyes. “But I know you’re not ready for that yet, and that’s okay. I understand and respect whatever you decide. But if you keep looking at me like that, I’m going to get impatient.” Zayn finished, leaving Niall speechless and flustered. 

“Oh.” Niall said after a while. “That was… bold.” He mumbled.

Zayn just nodded and moved closer, staring at Niall’s lips. “For now, though.” He started to say, tightening his hold on Niall’s waist. “How does kissing sound?”

Niall grinned and wrapped his legs tighter around Zayn’s hips. “Really good, Zaynie.” He breathed out. 

Zayn smiled that soft smile and closed the distance between his and Niall’s lips. It started out gentle and loving, but Niall soon ran his hands through Zayn’s hair, causing the kiss to become passionate and heated. Niall managed to strip Zayn of his shirt, and his hands traveled along his chest greedily. 

Niall let out a quiet whine when Zayn started kissing roughly at a spot on his neck. After a minute, Zayn pulled away, satisfied. Niall reached up to touch his neck, and he flinched when his hand brushed across a bruise that Zayn had left. Niall couldn't help but smile to himself, and he looked at Zayn pointedly. 

“What's up with you today? You're all over me, Z.” Niall asked, moving his hand from his own neck to tangle in Zayn’s hair. 

Zayn just smiled back, licking Niall’s nose playfully. “I just like kissing you is all.” He said, shrugging. Zayn moves up to Niall's ear, whispering his next words hotly. “Because you're mine now. And I like reminding you.” Zayn whispered, biting at the tip of Niall’s ear softly. 

Niall bit his lip, tightening his grip in Zayn’s hair. “Yours?” He repeated. 

Zayn nodded again. “Mine.” He said into Niall’s ear, biting it again. 

Niall bit back a moan when he felt Zayn’s lips at his neck again. “Mmm, Zayn.” Niall breathed out, getting cut off by Zayn’s lips on his. Zayn pushed against Niall’s mouth, and their tongues were soon curling together passionately. 

Niall heard the door to his bedroom slam open, and Zayn pulled away from him suddenly. Niall's legs were still wrapped tightly around Zayn’s hips, and his hands were still tangled in his dark hair. Niall looked at the door, and he saw Louis and Harry standing in the doorway, speechless. 

“What the fuck, Louis?” Zayn yelled, his eyes sparkling with anger. 

Louis’ mouth dropped open, while Harry reached a hand up to stifle his own laughter. “Damn, Zayn. I didn't think you could-” Louis started to say. 

“What the fuck do you want?” Zayn spat, his grip on Niall’s waist tightening instinctively. “And who is that with you?”

Louis put his hands up defensively. “I just need to talk to you, that's all.” He said, ignoring Zayn’s anger. 

Zayn took a step away from Niall, letting his legs fall to the ground. Niall stood against the wall while Zayn walked towards Harry, furious. “I said, who the fuck is that with you?” Zayn repeated fiercely, getting far too close to Harry, who looked terrified. Zayn grabbed a fistful of the collar of Harry’s shirt, causing Louis to grab Zayn’s bicep bruisingly. 

“Don’t fucking touch him, Malik.” Louis growled, tightening his hold on Zayn’s arm. 

Zayn glared at Louis. “I’ll do what I want, Tomlinson. We both know you can’t stop me.” He spat, making Harry flinch. 

Niall took this time to step in. He got in between Harry and Zayn, putting a hand on Zayn’s bare chest. “Okay, that's enough, babe.” Niall mumbled, giving Zayn a look. “This is Harry Styles, one of my best friends. Don’t touch him, Z.” Niall said sternly. 

Zayn turned his attention away from Louis and to Niall. His anger melted into a soft, loving look, clearly shocking Louis and Harry, who stood stiffly in the doorway. “How does he know Louis?” Zayn asked quietly, still keeping a tight hold on Harry’s collar. 

Louis spoke up. “He’s my fucking boyfriend, Malik.” He said furiously.

Zayn clenched his jaw and took his hand away from Harry’s collar. Harry let out a breath that he had been holding, while Louis let go of Zayn’s bicep. Niall kept his hand on Zayn’s chest, holding firm eye contact with him. Niall watched as Zayn relaxed and turned to Louis apologetically. “Sorry, Lou. I’m just a bit shaken up is all.” He mumbled, taking a breath. 

Louis nodded knowingly, and an amused smile made its way to his face. “After what I just walked in on, I believe you, Z.” He teased, ruffling Zayn’s hair playfully. 

“Shut it.” Zayn said lightly, mirroring Louis’ smile. “What was it you wanted to talk about?”

Louis glanced at Niall, then back at Zayn. “Could we talk, um, without Niall here?” He asked awkwardly, not wanting to upset Zayn again. 

Clearly he had, as Zayn’s eyes grew dark, and his smile was replaced with an aggressive look. “What the fuck does that mean, Lou? You don’t trust him, is that it?” He snarled, looking about ready to beat up Louis, who stared at Zayn in shock. “He fucking knows I deal, Louis. I trust him, and whatever you say to me, you’re saying to him.”

“God, it’s about Niall, Zayn! And I do trust him! You don’t know what you’re talking about.” Louis hissed.

Harry swallowed hard, glancing at Niall, who cut in again. “Both of you need to calm the hell down!” Niall demanded, glaring mostly at Zayn. “Zayn, just go talk to Louis, alright? I don’t mind.”

Zayn looked at Niall, his anger melting again. “But I mind, Niall! I don’t want you to feel-”

Niall interrupted Zayn with a huff. “I don’t mind.” He repeated, tilting his head up to kiss Zayn’s nose. 

Zayn took a deep breath and nodded at Louis, who just glared back. Louis turned around and stalked out of Niall’s room, Zayn slipping his shirt on quickly and following behind him. Harry and Niall were left alone, staring after the two. Niall grabbed his shirt off the floor, blushing, and sighed to himself. Harry was the first to break the silence. “Is he always that… scary?” He asked quietly, looking at Niall curiously. 

Niall blinked. “Zayn isn’t scary.” He replied evenly, confused as to why Harry would say that. 

“Really, Niall?” Harry said, giving him a look. “He just lost it on Louis two times in less than two minutes. I thought he was going to throw me out a window or something. He’s scary, Niall.” 

Niall rolled his eyes and sat down at his desk, watching Harry flop on the bed in the corner of the room dramatically. “Zayn isn’t scary unless he’s mad. And even then, it’s not that hard to calm him down.” He pointed out, shrugging. 

Harry looked up from the pile of pillows. “Correction, it’s not that hard for you to calm him down.” He mumbled, smiling. “Imagine if Lou had put his hand on Zayn’s chest, telling him what to do like you did. My beautiful boyfriend would probably be dead right now.” Harry teased. 

“And why haven’t you told me about that, Haz? Since when are you and Louis official?” Niall asked, desperate to change the subject. 

Luckily, Harry didn’t seem to mind talking about Louis. He went on and on about how funny and sweet and perfect the older boy was on their first official date, which happened about two weeks after the camera incident. “He always makes me laugh, Niall. Even when I’m about to cry, he just brightens everything up.” Harry gushed, showing no signs of stopping. “And he’s such a great kisser. I’ve kissed other guys before, but damn.” He added, getting a lost look in his eyes. 

Niall laughed, bringing Harry back to reality. “Sounds fantastic, Haz. I’m happy for you.” He said, smiling warmly at his friend. 

Harry smiled back before continuing thoughtfully. “You’re kind of like Lou in that way.” He said, looking at Niall curiously. 

“What, I’m a great kisser?” Niall asked, laughing. 

“No!” Harry exclaimed, throwing a pillow at Niall. “Well, I’d have to ask Zayn if he doesn’t kill me first.” He teased, laughing at Niall’s blush. “I meant you brighten everything up, Niall. Like a little ray of sunshine.” Harry declared, laughing at himself. 

Niall blinked. Liam had called him that when he first started talking to Zayn. “Alright, alright.” Niall said dismissively, waving his hand back and forth. 

Harry sat up, suddenly serious. “I mean it, Niall. You’re just good. You're so kind, and you find practically every joke funny. You're a light of pure joy in everyone’s lives. We'd be lost without you.” He said as if it was the most simple thing in the world. 

Niall just looked away, embarrassed. “Oh. Thanks, Harry.” He said quietly, smiling to himself at the compliments. 

“Don't mention it, Niall. Just be careful around Zayn, yeah? He's like the moon, all dark and mysterious.” Harry advised, clearly putting a good amount of thought into these comparisons. 

Niall looked up. “But aren't the moon and the sun supposed to go together?” He asked curiously. 

Harry already had an answer. “Sure, in some cases. But sometimes the moon’s darkness hides the sun’s light. Sometimes the sun won't shine after the moon.” He said seriously. 

Niall swallowed hard, Harry’s analogies hitting him straight in the heart. “But can't the sun help brighten the moon?” He asked hopefully. 

Harry nodded. “Of course. But the sun has to be smart and strong. The sun has to know what's best for itself and the moon, and sometimes that's not letting the moon shine at all.”

Niall was quiet after that. He wasn’t sure what to say to Harry’s words, so he just turned back to his desk silently. Niall looked back at Harry after a while, meeting the younger boy’s gaze seriously. “I trust him.” He said shortly, knowing how much power those words held. Before Harry could respond, Zayn stormed into the room. Niall looked up from his desk at him. “Everything okay?” He asked quickly.

Louis rushed in after Zayn, catching the attention of Harry. Zayn stayed focused on Niall, who was getting more anxious by the second. “No, Ni. Everything is not okay.” Zayn snapped, glaring at Louis, who just glared right back. “We have to leave. Right now.”


	9. IX.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> poor niall.  
> \- liv xx

**IX.**

“W-what?” Niall stammered out. His anxiety was starting to get replaced by fear the more he looked at Zayn’s worried expression. 

Zayn took Niall’s hand and pulled him up, while Louis went to the bed to get Harry. “I don’t have time to explain, but we’re going to Louis’, okay?” Zayn said softly. 

Niall blinked, and he was tugged out of his apartment before he could say anything. Zayn had his hands on his shoulders, and he was practically steering him wherever he wanted. Niall bit back an angry protest. Zayn knew how much Niall hated that. The two ended up next to Zayn’s motorcycle that was parked next to Niall’s apartment. Niall whipped around, taking both of Zayn’s hands off of his shoulders and into his hands. “Absolutely not.” He declared, staring up at Zayn defiantly. “I am not getting on that thing.” Niall said, nodding towards the bike. 

Zayn scoffed. “Come on, Blondie. I don’t have time for this.” He urged, watching Louis and Harry get into Louis’ car hurriedly. 

“No, Zayn. I’ll ride with Lou and Haz.” Niall reasoned, stalking away from Zayn. “Maybe they’ll tell me what the hell is going on.” He spat back at Zayn, leaving him alone without a chance to respond. Okay, maybe Niall was using his fear of Zayn’s bike to avoid the older boy, but he just hated all the secret keeping Zayn was doing.

Niall opened the door to the backseat of Louis’ car, getting in quickly. Harry turned around in his seat. “Niall? You’re not riding with Zayn?” He asked curiously, watching Zayn get on his bike and speed off suddenly.

“No.” Niall said shortly, not meeting Harry’s gaze.

Harry didn’t let up. “Why not? Are you two okay?” He pressed.

Niall looked up, teary eyed. “I don’t know, Haz. I don’t want to talk about it.” He mumbled.

Niall honestly didn’t know what was going on with him and Zayn. One minute, they were yelling at each other, the next they were making out against the wall. Niall cared about Zayn, he really did. But not knowing what was going on with practically anything made being close to Zayn hard. Niall didn’t even know why he had to leave his apartment, much less why Zayn suddenly seemed closed off. 

Harry looked like he was about to continue, when Louis started the car and cut off his next words. “Leave it, Haz.” Louis said quietly, focusing on the road. 

Niall closed his eyes and leaned his head back against the seat of Louis’ car. “How come we had to go?” He asked after a minute, breaking the silence. 

Louis shifted in his seat uncomfortably. “That would be a question for Z.” He answered, glancing at Niall through the rearview mirror. 

“I want an answer, Louis.” Niall demanded, locking eyes with Louis.

Harry tensed, and he glanced at Louis worriedly. “God, this is why I fucking told Malik to stay away from you.” Louis said to himself angrily, gripping the wheel tightly. “It’s his business, Niall. But you need to listen to me when I say that, if I were you, I would take this chance to stop doing whatever you’re doing with Zayn, understand?”

Niall blinked and looked down, taking a deep breath. “Understand.” He said softly, tears welling up in his eyes.

The rest of the drive to Louis’ was silent, Niall lost in his thoughts. Liam, Louis and Harry had told him to be careful around Zayn, saying he was dangerous. But every single part of Niall just wanted more of the older boy. 

__ The sound of the car door slamming shut broke through Niall’s thoughts, making him look up. Louis had left the car and was talking to Zayn, who was leaning against his motorcycle outside of the apartment. Harry turned around, facing Niall. “Hey.” He said quietly.

Niall looked at Harry, his eyes dull. “Hey.” He said back. 

“I’m sorry.” Harry apologized, catching Niall off guard. “I know all anyone’s told you is to stay away from Zayn, myself included. But this is your relationship, Niall. Your choice. Don’t let me or Louis or Liam tell you otherwise, okay?” He said, taking Niall’s hand comfortingly. 

Niall nodded, looking down at his and Harry’s hands. “Thank you, Haz. I mean it.” He said sincerely. 

Harry and Niall looked at each other a second more before the back door by Niall was opened. He turned and saw Zayn standing outside the car, not meeting Niall’s eyes. Zayn nodded his head away from Niall, silently telling him to get out of the car. Niall clenched his jaw, knowing that Zayn chose not to talk to him. He narrowed his eyes at the older boy and slid across the back seat, getting out on the other side of the car. Niall allowed himself to smirk in victory when Zayn couldn’t see him, and he walked confidently behind Harry. Harry bit back an impressed smile when he saw what Niall had done, and Zayn slammed the door shut, following the two angrily. 

Yep, Niall was being petty, and he wasn’t ashamed. He didn’t know what was going on. He just wanted to go back to his apartment, and act like this never happened. Especially everything with Zayn, who was proving to be more trouble than he was worth, even if he was a great kisser. Niall was fed up with all the lies and secrets that involved Zayn. Sure, he trusted him, and cared about him. But Niall needed the truth from Zayn, and if this was the way he got it, then so be it. 

Pleased with the reaction that Zayn had with the car door incident, Niall made a point not to hold the door to Louis’ apartment for him. He heard the door open again, and Zayn stormed in, a furious look on his face. Niall just tilted his head up and looked at Zayn questioningly, acting completely innocent. 

“Zayn, would you just relax?” Louis’ sharp voice interrupted Zayn and Niall’s glare at each other. “Niall is safe now, he’s not in his apartment. You don’t have to be all pissed off at everyone.” He continued, walking into the living room where the other three were. 

Zayn snapped his head up, glaring at Louis. “Watch it, Lou.” He mumbled, clearly hoping Niall hadn’t caught what he had said. 

Niall did, as he turned his attention to Louis as well. “What do you mean I’m safe now? Was I not safe in my apartment?” He asked, eyes widening. 

“Shit.” Louis swore under his breath, running a hand through his hair. 

Niall grew anxious when Louis avoided his gaze. “Louis, answer me.”

Harry chimed in, sensing his boyfriend’s discomfort. “Lou, baby, can we talk in the other room?” He asked softly, standing up to put his arm around Louis’ small frame. Louis nodded silently, and the two walked off, leaving Zayn and Niall alone. 

Niall looked up and saw Zayn tugging at his hair, something he did when he was particularly nervous. “Z, stop that. You’re going to hurt yourself.” Niall said, unable to stop himself. 

“What do you care, Blondie?” Zayn snapped, glaring at him. 

Niall scoffed. “God, would you just quit it, Zayn? You put up this ‘I don’t care about anyone’ attitude all the time, and I’m getting sick of it.” He said fiercely, not holding anything back. “You’re actually a nice guy, Zayn. You’re not some mysterious bad boy who doesn’t give a fuck about anything or anyone, so you need to stop acting like you are! You wonder why Liam doesn’t want me talking to you.”

Zayn clenched his jaw, his arms involuntarily flexing in anger. “You have no right to tell me who I am, Niall.” He spat. “You think just because we’ve messed around for a month that you know me?”

Niall cut Zayn’s next words off. “That’s all this has been for you? Messing around?” He asked, voice breaking. 

Zayn didn’t hesitate. “And it’s been more for you? What, because I was your first kiss? People don’t marry the first guy they kiss. Open your eyes, Niall. You think I haven’t done this before, messed around with random guys and girls every now and then? That’s all this is, and that’s all it will ever be.” Zayn said, his voice not wavering once. “I don’t love you, Niall Horan.” He said flatly, holding Niall’s piercing gaze. 

A tear rolled down Niall’s cheek, and he could feel his heart twist in his chest. So, Zayn didn’t love him. Niall didn’t love Zayn either, so why did he care so much? He didn’t love Zayn.  _ Do I?  _ The hopeful thought made its way into Niall’s head, and he hated it. People didn’t just fall in love a month after meeting.  _ A month and two weeks.  _ Niall’s brain supplied helpfully. He closed his eyes and took a shaky breath, pushing the thoughts out of his mind. 

   No, Niall didn’t care about Zayn’s feelings, or lack thereof. Not one bit. Because Niall Horan did not love Zayn Malik.

   However, Niall Horan did, in fact, need to be alone at that very minute. Or at least out of Louis’ apartment. He got up from the couch and pushed past Zayn, wiping a few tears from his face, and grabbed Louis’ keys off of the table. Before Zayn could stop him, Niall was out the door and in Louis’ car, driving back to his apartment without a second thought. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> niall is not the smartest (going back to his apartment, where it’s supposedly unsafe).  
> \- liv xx


	10. X.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow, okay. i honestly didn’t realize it’s been this long since i’ve updated, so sorry, especially since last chapter ended on a cliffhanger! i recently learned how to edit and make all these one direction things on my fan account, so i’ve been distracted. but here’s a long chapter with some ziall angst for you!  
> \- liv xx

**X.**

Niall swore he heard a muffled “wait” from Zayn before he slammed the door shut, but he didn’t care. Not one bit. Zayn hurt him, and he needed to get out. Even though Niall didn’t want to admit it, he really, really cared about Zayn. Loved him, even. Maybe. 

“I hate him.” Niall said to himself angrily, tears pricking from the corners of his eyes. He repeated this sentence over and over again until he was parked next to his apartment, next to an unfamiliar black van. Niall didn’t think anything of it and groaned, resting his head against the wheel. He sat there for a while, jumping when his phone went off. 

**From Haz:** **_Niall, you need to come back to Lou’s. Seriously. It’s not safe at your house. -H_ **

**** **From Louis:** **_get the hell back here. I’m being serious_ **

Niall rolled his eyes and ignored Harry and Louis’ frantic texts, frustrated that Zayn didn’t text him. But what did he expect? A text from the boy who just declared that he didn’t love him? That they were just messing around and nothing more? That Niall was just some random guy wh Zayn decided to mess with? No, Niall didn’t expect, or even want, a text from Zayn. But it would’ve been nice. 

Disregarding Harry and Louis’ warnings, Niall got out of his car and walked up to his front door, keys jingling in his hand. He held up the key to unlock the door before pausing, as it was already pushed open. Niall blinked and swallowed nervously. He pushed the door open slowly, walking inside. 

“Hello? Is someone here?” Niall called out, turning around to close the door. 

Before Niall could react, there was an arm reaching around his shoulders and pulling him in tightly. Niall cried out, the door staying open slightly, and stumbled back against the person behind him. The arm moved up to press against Niall’s neck, and Niall panicked, moving his hands up to pull away. 

Suddenly, there was a dark voice at Niall’s ear, causing a chill to run down his spine. “I wouldn’t move if I were you, Blondie.”

Niall paused at the nickname, and he relaxed slightly. “Zayn?” He asked quietly. The voice didn’t sound like Zayn’s, but Niall was hopeful. 

The grip around Niall tightened, and the person behind him laughed cruelly. “This isn’t Zayn, sweetheart. But I’m glad we got the right apartment here. Cowell actually remembered something right for once.” He said.

Niall tensed at the mention of Cowell, Zayn’s boss who trapped him into drug dealing. “Please, I don’t know what you want.” Niall begged, struggling against the man’s grip. 

The only response Niall got was another cruel laugh, and then he was being moved up the stairs and into his living room, where another man was standing. Niall bit back a groan. He hated when Zayn led him around, and this was ten times worse, as he didn’t even know what was going on. Niall was forcefully thrown into the other man’s arms, and he was soon gripped tighter than before by him. 

Niall blinked a few tears from his eyes, looking up. “Take anything you want, please.” He pleaded, struggling weakly against the tight grip. 

“You wouldn’t happen to know where Malik is, would you, Blondie?” The first man asked in a light voice. 

Niall swallowed hard. “N-no.” He lied, cringing at his inability to hide the truth. 

The man smirked. “I know you do, it’s written all over your cute face.” He said, walking closer to a now shaking Niall. The man brushed his hand over Niall’s cheek, and Niall flinched away instinctively. “So cute. I see why Malik likes you so much.”

The man holding Niall spoke up. “Enough, Nick.” He snapped. “We’re here for Malik, not him.”

“We’re here for whatever I want to be here for, Alex.” The man, Nick, shot back, making Niall flinch. Nick’s attention went back to Niall at the movement. “Sorry, baby, didn’t mean to scare you. Anyways, tell me about Malik.”

Niall blinked. “I, um, I don’t know what you’re talking about.” He stammered, shaking in Alex’s grip. 

Nick sighed in disappointment. “Come on, Blondie.”

Niall cut him off before he could stop himself. “Don’t call me Blondie.” He snapped, regretting it instantly. 

Nick got a dark look in his eyes, and Alex’s grip tightened. “Fine, have it your way. Just know that I tried to be nice.” Nick said, shrugging. He turned around and got something out of his pocket that Niall couldn’t quite see from his angle. Nick turned back around, and Niall’s eyes darted to what he was holding in his hand. A knife. 

Niall lost it. “Wait, wait, wait, I’m sorry. You can call me Blondie or whatever, just, please, don’t hurt me.” He begged, knowing he wasn’t making sense. 

“Tell me where your precious little Zaynie is, and I won’t have to, love.” Nick said matter of factly, twirling the knife in his hand. Niall cringed when Nick used “Zaynie”, the name that was reserved for only Niall. Even if he was mad at Zayn at the moment, he absolutely hated hearing the name come out of Nick’s mouth, or anyone that wasn’t him, really. The cool feeling of the knife on Niall’s arm jolted him back to reality, and he was met with an expectant Nick. “I don’t have all day, Blondie. Where is he?” He repeated, pressing the blunt end of the knife into Niall’s skin. 

Niall swallowed hard. The knife didn’t hurt, but just the thought of what could happen terrified him. “I d-don’t know where he is. Really.” Niall lied, hoping he sounded believable. Sure, Niall may have just been crying in Louis’ car over Zayn, but he wasn’t going to just let these men have him. 

Nick flipped the knife around, holding the blade up to Niall’s face. “Want to try that again, sweetheart?” He asked, pressing the tip against Niall’s cheekbone. 

Niall tried to pull away, but Alex quickly tangled a hand in his hair and pulled tightly, forcing him in place. “Please, we don’t even talk anymore, I swear.” Niall begged, thinking on the spot. “We got in a fight, and I barely ever see Zayn now. I don’t know where he is.”

“Hmm.” Nick hummed. “Good story, but I’m having trouble believing it.” He commented, moving the knife down to Niall’s collarbone. “I’ve done this before, Blondie. I know when people are telling the truth and when they’re lying. Think about what’s important here.” Nick warned, pressing the tip of the knife into Niall’s collarbone.

Niall cried out when Nick started making deep cuts along his collar, and he looked down to see blood seeping out from the cuts. Nick looked up, waiting for Niall to start talking. When nothing came out of Niall’s mouth, he looked back down and started trailing his knife down Niall’s arm. When Nick went back to his bicep, he started to push the tip of the knife into his arm, looking up at Niall to see his reaction. Niall let out a sob when Nick continued to push the knife in deeper. “Please, stop! I’m sorry, please. I’ll tell you where he is, just, please, stop.” Niall begged through tears, hating himself for giving in so quickly. 

Roughly, the knife was pulled out, earning a yelp from Niall. He looked down and saw what seemed like buckets of blood dripping from his arm and onto his carpet and through his shirt. Nick moved the knife back up to Niall’s cheekbone, letting it rest against his face lightly. “Go on, baby. Tell me everything.” Nick said softly,

Niall blinked tears from his eyes, his arm throbbing in pain. He took a shaky breath. “He’s at-”

Niall got cut off by the sound of his front door slamming open. “Niall!” A familiar voice called out. 

Niall let out a breath of relief and thrashed furiously in Alex’s grip, cutting his face on the knife. He winced and was soon pulled in tightly by Nick. “Zayn!” Niall screamed out desperately. Nick’s hand flew up to cover Niall’s mouth, and he pressed the knife harshly against his throat. Niall froze and stopped struggling.

Zayn rushed up the stairs and into Niall’s living room, taking in everything. Niall stared at him helplessly until they locked eyes. Zayn’s traveled to the knife that was held against Niall’s neck, and his eyes grew dark. “You better let go of him, Nick.” He snapped, glaring at the man holding Niall. 

Niall was a bit caught off guard at the fact that Zayn knew who Nick was, but he ignored it. Nick’s grip grew tighter, and Alex looked at Zayn. “You’re alone, Malik. You didn’t bring Tomlinson or anything?” Alex asked in a surprised voice. 

Niall’s confusion grew. These two knew Louis, too? He couldn’t think about it too much, as Zayn started to talk in a low voice. “No.” He said shortly, sounding absolutely furious at the mention of Louis. “Let go of him. Now.” Zayn demanded, taking a step towards Niall and Nick. 

Nick pressed the knife against Niall’s neck firmly, creating a thin cut. Niall swallowed, looking at Zayn in fear. “Cowell’s mad at you, Malik.” Nick hissed, glaring at Zayn. “Like, really mad.”

“I don’t give a fuck about Cowell. I already told him, I’m done.” Zayn snapped, moving his focus back down to Niall, who started to shake in Nick’s arms. “Are you okay, baby? Did they hurt you?” He asked softly, acting as if the other two men weren’t in the room. 

Niall was about to attempt a response, as Nick’s hand was still covering his mouth, when the hand muffling his words moved down to his arm. Nick wrapped his hand halfway around Niall’s bicep, squeezing the spot where he had pressed the knife into. Niall let out a cry of pain, tears streaming from his eyes. “We might have hurt him a bit.” Nick sneered, grinning wickedly. “He wouldn’t tell us where you were.”

Zayn clenched his jaw, and his eyes grew dark again. His arms flexed, and his hands balled into fists. Niall would be terrified of Zayn if his fear wasn’t currently being taken up by Nick. He had never seen him this angry. “That was a big mistake.” Zayn said in a low voice. “You know me, Nick. You know what I can do.”

Niall heard Nick inhale sharply, and the pressure of the knife let up. “Do anything, and he gets hurt.” Nick said, his voice wavering. 

Zayn noticed this, and he got closer to the three. Instead of responding, however, he reached out and grabbed the knife from Nick, tossing it on the floor. Alex made a move to try to get it, but Zayn stopped him. “I’ll only ask one more time. Let him go.” He snapped, glaring at Nick and Alex furiously. 

Alex looked at Nick worriedly, but he just glared right back at Zayn. After a minute, Nick let go of Niall, who ran into Zayn’s arms, shaking with cries. “Shh, you’re okay, Ni. You’re okay.” Zayn whispered, petting Niall’s hair softly. 

     Zayn snapped his head up when Nick and Alex made an attempt to get the knife again. He let go of Niall, making sure he could stand, and stood in front of the stairs that led to the front door, blocking the knife. Zayn grabbed Nick’s collar and delivered a strong hit to his cheek, watching as a bruise formed soon after. A bruise not being enough, Zayn twisted Nick in his arms and pulled his arm tight behind him, tugging it harshly. Niall flinched at the sound of bones cracking and the loud scream that Nick let out, but he didn’t dare move. “You tell Cowell that I’m done.” Zayn hissed, seething with anger. “Hurt Niall again, and a broken arm will be the least of your worries.” He finished, shoving Nick and Alex away.

The two quickly left Niall’s apartment, and they drove off. Zayn wrapped his arms around Niall again, squeezing tightly. Niall wailed in pain when his injured arm was caught in Zayn’s tight hug. Zayn quickly pulled apart, a worried look in his eyes. “Shit, I’m sorry, Ni. Here, sit down, yeah?” He stammered, sitting Niall down gently on the couch. 

Niall nodded and took a shaky breath. He looked up at Zayn dully, the image of him snapping a man’s arm stuck in his brain. Niall sniffed and blinked a few tears, rubbing his eyes with the back of his hand 

“What did they do to you, baby?” Zayn asked softly, sitting down next to Niall and petting his hair. 

Niall squeezed his eyes shut, tears streaming from them now. “A-a knife.” He managed to say, trying not to focus on his throbbing arm. 

Zayn clenched his jaw, and, for a second, Niall was worried he would go after Nick and Alex again. Luckily, he seemed to understand the situation, and he took a deep breath to calm himself down. “I’m so sorry, Ni. This is all my fault.” Zayn mumbled. “I’m going to help you out of your shirt, yeah? It’s just to get to your arm easier, love.” He explained, reaching gently for the hem of Niall’s shirt. 

Niall nodded again, and carefully twisted his arm to help Zayn get his shirt off. After a minute and few pained whines, his bloody shirt was laying on the ground, arm exposed. Niall almost fainted at the sight. Zayn, however, took another breath and went to work, being sure to inform Niall before he did anything.

“It’s not infected, you’re going to be just fine, baby.” Zayn assured sweetly, locking eyes with Niall before turning back to his arm. “Could you lay down on your back for me, Ni? Slowly, be careful.” He mumbled, helping Niall lay down. Niall was silent, apart from his whimpers every now and then, and he stared up at Zayn with glassy eyes. “Perfect. You’re doing so well, love. I’m just going to look at your arm now, okay?” Zayn asked, looking back down at Niall before doing anything. 

Before nodding his understanding, Niall brought his hand up to his collarbone, gesturing to the cuts Nick had made there. Zayn just reached out to run a hand through Niall’s hair gently. “I saw them, babe. Don’t worry, you’re okay.” He said, pressing his lips to Niall’s forehead before pulling away. 

Zayn then leaned over Niall’s injured arm, looking at it closely. Once he seemed sure of himself, he leaned back to lock eyes with Niall. “There’s nothing stuck in your arm, which is good.” Zayn commented with relief, half to himself. “I’m going to get your shirt to apply pressure on it, okay? It’ll hurt a bit, but you need to stay still. Can you do that, baby?” He asked softly, reaching down to grab Niall’s shirt off the floor. 

Niall nodded, not saying a word, and sniffled. Zayn pressed another kiss to his forehead, and pulled away with a soft smile. He gently lifted Niall’s arm up to wrap the shirt underneath it. Once Zayn started wrapping it, Niall let out a few quiet cries at just how much pressure that was being applied. He knew it was necessary, but in the moment, Niall just wanted everything to stop. 

After a few minutes, Zayn finished wrapping Niall’s arm and let it rest on a pillow above his chest. “Keep it elevated, okay? Above your heart.” He added, moving his now free hand into Niall’s hair and petting it softly. Niall leaned into the touch, feeling safe. He closed his eyes and sighed peacefully, a wave of exhaustion rushing over him. Zayn said his next words quietly. “You can rest, Ni. I’ll be right here when you wake up.”

Niall opened his eyes and looked up at him, a hint of disbelief in his eyes. Although stabbed, he didn’t forget what Zayn had said to him at Louis’ apartment, and those words were still replaying in his mind. Like usual, Zayn seemed to read his mind. “Niall Horan, I’m not going anywhere.” Zayn swore. 

Niall’s heart twisted in his chest. He remembered saying those exact words to Zayn after he had gotten attacked by Cowell at his apartment over a month ago. He remembered the lost look Zayn had in his eyes, and he remembered the passion that he had felt. Most of all, Niall remembered what Zayn had said next in a broken voice. “Promise?” Niall whispered, taking Zayn’s hand and gently squeezing it. 

Zayn squeezed back. “Promise.”


	11. XI.

**XI.**

When Niall woke up, he could feel that his and Zayn’s hands were still laced together, and Zayn’s free hand was still playing with his hair. His arm was wrapped with a clean shirt rather than his blood soaked one, and he had a soft blanket wrapped around him tightly. Niall blinked open his eyes and slowly got used to the light. He squinted his eyes up at Zayn, desperately wanting to see him.

“Hey, Ni.” Zayn said softly, moving the hand that was in his hair to brush along Niall’s cheek. “You were out for a while, baby. Scared me a little if I’m honest.”

Niall rubbed his eyes, wincing at the movement of his injured arm, and stared up at Zayn, confused when he saw that he wasn’t wearing a shirt, just his leather jacket with nothing underneath. Niall motioned towards Zayn’s bare chest, hoping he got what he was trying to say. 

As usual, Zayn nodded his understanding. “I needed to change the wrap on your arm, but I didn’t really want to leave you alone, even if it was just for a second.” He explained awkwardly. Niall smiled softly at Zayn’s kindness, mouthing a quiet ‘thank you’ to him. Zayn smiled back, squeezing Niall’s hand. “Of course, Ni.”

Niall shivered and sat up, snuggling close to Zayn. The blanket that was resting on his shoulders fell to his waist. “‘M cold, Z.” He said quietly, his throat dry from not talking. 

Without hesitation, Zayn slipped off his leather jacket and wrapped it around Niall’s shaking frame lightly. “Do you need anything? Another blanket? One of your shirts? I can go get one.” Zayn offered, as if he hadn't just handed Niall his jacket. 

Niall shook his head silently and pulled Zayn’s jacket tighter around him. Zayn smiled softly and kissed the top of his head, staring down at him fondly after.

The two sat in silence for a minute, simply staring at each other, before Zayn’s phone started to ring in his pocket. Niall jumped at the noise, yelping when his arm bumped against the side of the couch. Zayn ignored his phone and focused on Niall. “Shh, you’re okay, love. Just bumped it a little, that’s all.” He comforted, carefully moving Niall’s arm back to a comfortable position. “Okay?” Zayn asked. 

Niall nodded and motioned towards Zayn’s pocket, where his phone was still ringing. Zayn sighed and pulled his phone out, looking up at Niall. “It’s Liam. Can I answer it, or do you want me here?” Zayn asked kindly. 

Niall knew what he meant. Zayn would still be here physically, of course, but he would be focused on Liam instead of him. Nevertheless, Niall nodded, knowing Zayn had to have stayed by his side for a while.

“Thank you, baby.” Zayn murmured, pressing his lips to Niall’s forehead before answering. “Liam?” He said into the phone. 

Niall jumped when he heard furious shouting coming from the other end of the phone as a response. There was definitely more than one person yelling at Zayn, who just closed his eyes and sighed. “I know, I’m sor-”

Zayn’s apology got cut off by more angry voices, and he bit his lip, wincing. “He just woke up. I’m not sure if-” He started to say, looking worried. Again, he was cut off. Niall rubbed circles with his thumb on the back of Zayn’s hand, making him look down at him. They locked eyes, Niall silently saying that he was okay, even though he didn’t know what Zayn was talking about with Liam. Zayn took a deep breath and nodded. “Okay.” He said shortly, earning a confused glance from Niall. “I’ll talk to him, then I’ll text you, yeah?” Zayn asked hopefully. 

Liam, or whoever was on the other end, must have agreed, as Zayn exhaled in relief and smiled to himself. After a minute, Liam hung up, and Zayn put his phone away. Niall looked up at him expectantly. “That was, um, Lou, Harry and Liam.” Zayn explained hesitantly. “You were out for around two hours, and I didn’t really tell them what happened. I mean, they know that Nick and Alex were, um, coming to your apartment and that you left Lou’s, so I guess they-” Niall cut him off with a quiet hum, and he moved his hand to Zayn’s lips, shushing him effectively. He shook his head slowly, silently telling Zayn that it was okay. 

Zayn let out a breath he didn’t know he had been holding. “You’re sure? I don’t want you rushing-” He started to say. Niall rolled his eyes and nodded, silently interrupting Zayn. “Could you tell me it’s okay, baby? With words?” Zayn asked hopefully. 

Clearly, Niall’s silence didn’t go unnoticed to Zayn. He bit his lip. Niall really didn’t know why he wasn’t talking. He just felt like he couldn’t. Zayn noticed Niall’s hesitation, and he went back to petting his hair. “It’s okay if you can’t, Ni. I just want to make sure you’re okay before Liam, Lou and Harry come over.” He said softly. 

Niall nodded and took a breath before speaking. “It’s… it’s okay.” He stammered, looking up at Zayn hopefully. 

Zayn smiled and kissed Niall on the nose. “Good job, baby. I’m proud of you.” He said sweetly, taking out his phone to text Liam. Once he was done, Zayn put his hand back into Niall’s hair and played with it gently. 

Niall was silent for a minute, trying hard to come up with a sentence in his mind, before breaking it quietly. “Hey, Zaynie?” He asked, cursing himself for using the nickname. 

Zayn didn’t seem to mind, as he smiled softly down at Niall. “Yeah, Ni?” Niall swallowed hard, struggling to speak. Maybe it was because of his arm or something else entirely, but he couldn’t seem to make a sound. Zayn leaned down and kissed Niall’s nose again, pulling away with that same soft smile. “Talk to me, baby.” He pleaded.

“Do you love me?” Niall asked, well aware of how fragile he sounded. 

Zayn closed his eyes and looked away. “Please, not now.” He said sighing. 

Niall blinked, a sudden rush of energy hitting him. He was getting an answer out of Zayn, even if it was one he didn’t want to hear. “I want an answer, Zayn.” Niall demanded, trying to add more strength to his voice. 

“You’ll get one later, Niall.” Zayn snapped, trying to sound gentle.

Niall clenched his jaw. “Why did you come over?” He mumbled.

Zayn blinked. “You were in danger. It was my fault.” He explained like it was the most obvious thing in the world. “Would you rather me have stayed at Lou’s?”

“No, Zayn. But this whole time you’ve been acting… well, you’ve been acting like you always do around me.” Niall pointed out, shrugging lightly. 

“And how do I always act around you?” Zayn asked, locking eyes with Niall.

Niall held his gaze. “Sweet, protective, kind, caring, gentle.” He said strongly. “You stayed with me while I slept for two hours. You used your own shirt as a bandage for my arm. You’ve been playing with my hair because you know I love it when you do that. You’ve been making sure I’m okay every five seconds. You keep calling me ‘Ni’. You know that’s your nickname for me, and no one else gets to call me it. You know how fragile I am right now, which is why you didn’t want Li to come over. You know all this, Z.” Niall continued, breathless when he finished. 

Zayn’s eyes watered, and he looked away. “But I know that this is my fault.” He said quietly. “And I know that if I told you that everything I said at Lou’s before you left was a lie, this kind of thing would happen again and again.” 

Niall took Zayn’s hand, making him turn back to meet Niall’s now teary eyes. “Just tell me, Z. Was it a lie?” He asked desperately, practically begging. 

Zayn’s silent, barely noticeable nod that came a minute after Niall asked was the only response he needed to break down into tears. Zayn didn’t say anything. He just stared at a crying Niall, a few tears streaming down his face. After a minute of quiet crying, Zayn reached his hand out to brush against Niall’s cheek. Niall sniffled and looked up at Zayn, who was smiling that soft smile. “I love you, Ni. I really do.” Zayn said sincerely, his eyes sparkling with tears. 

Niall jumped up from the couch and wrapped his arms around Zayn’s neck tightly, completely ignoring the sharp pain he felt in his arm. He buried his face in Zayn’s shoulder, causing his next words to be muffled slightly. “I love you, too, Zaynie.” He said, smiling against Zayn’s skin. 

As a response, Zayn wrapped his arms around Niall’s waist to pull him in tighter. A minute later, the two pulled apart, their eyes red from crying. Zayn looked down at his and Niall’s hands. “I’m sorry.” He said quietly. 

Niall blinked. “W-what?” He asked, confused. 

“I said I’m sorry, Niall.” Zayn repeated, looking up. “I’m sorry that I got you into this mess. I should’ve listened to Liam when he told me not to tell you anything about me. I should’ve just stayed away from you.” He admitted. 

Niall shook his head. “No, Z. This isn’t your fault. Please, don’t disappear again.” He begged, remembering those weeks when he and Zayn hadn’t talked. 

“Be honest with yourself, Ni. You would be so much safer without me in your life. Your arm would be fine, you wouldn’t be in love with a fucking drug dealer.” Zayn rambled.

“Stop it.” Niall interrupted, not wanting to hear anymore. “If I hadn’t met you, sure, I’d be safer. But I did meet you. And I did fall in love with you. And I would never what to change that.” He declared, sitting up straight. 

Zayn sighed, looking far too tired to argue about this. His next words were cut off when Niall’s front door was opened, and a familiar voice called out. “Niall James Horan!” Liam yelled, rushing up the stairs followed by Louis and Harry. 

Niall turned away from Zayn and smiled guiltily at Liam, who only used his full name whenever he was pissed. “Hey, Li. And Lou and Harry.” He greeted awkwardly, putting his hand behind his neck. 

“Not one text. Not one call.” Liam snapped, turning his furious glare from Niall to Zayn and back again. “I got absolutely nothing. I didn’t even know you were at Louis’.”

Niall looked down, guilt washing over him. If he was honest, he had forgotten about Liam. He didn’t tell Liam that he had to leave his apartment, much less anything that happened with Nick and Alex. “Sorry.” Niall mumbled.

Louis chimed in, just as angry. “I had to tell him, and I had no idea what the fuck was going on either!” He shouted, making Niall flinch. “There are so many things wrong with this whole situation. I don’t even know where to start.” Louis added, his eyes sparking with fury. “Why the hell did you leave my apartment, Niall? And, Zayn, why didn’t you tell me what happened and that Niall was okay? Just because you know that he’s okay doesn’t mean the rest of us do! I know who Nick is, and I know what he can do! For all I know, Niall could’ve been dead. You’re not the only one who cares about him, Malik.” Louis snapped, using Zayn’s last name in anger.

Zayn clenched his jaw and flexed his arms angrily. He opened his mouth to yell back at Louis, but Harry got to it first. “Both of you shut up!” He shouted at Louis and Liam. “And don’t you say a word, Zayn.” Harry snapped, making him jump in surprise. In the month or so that Zayn and Louis had known Harry, he hadn’t gotten angry or yelled at anyone once. Liam and Niall, on the other hand, had known Harry for a while. They knew that he rarely snapped at anyone, and, when he did, it was terrifying. 

“You two have absolutely no right to yell at Niall like that. We don’t know what happened, but look at him, will you? If you took one second to care about his feelings instead of your own, you’d know that now is not the time to scream at him about what you went through and the problems you had with this!” Harry continued, looking at Louis and Liam with teary eyes. “And don’t yell at Zayn, either! Sure, he should’ve called, but he fucking saved Niall’s life for all we know. Maybe thank him for that instead of being selfish. The last thing Niall or any of us needs right now is you three fighting over this.” Harry finished, breathless. 

Louis and Liam were silent, while Zayn fought back a smirk. Niall looked down and leaned against Zayn’s side. Zayn kissed the top of Niall’s head and wrapped an arm around him loosely. Finally, Louis looked at Zayn apologetically. “Harry’s right. Sorry, Z.” He admitted, sitting down on the couch that was opposite of Zayn and Niall. 

Zayn shook his head dismissively. “It’s okay, Lou. I should’ve called, I know. There was a lot going on.”

Louis smiled at Zayn, glad they weren’t fighting again. Harry nodded his approval and sat down next to Louis, looking up at Liam expectantly, who was leaning against the wall with his arms crossed. Liam glared at Zayn, who glared right back. Niall glanced at Harry, who looked furious at Liam’s lack of an apology. Niall knew Liam long enough to know that if he was passionate enough about something, he wouldn’t apologize. 

Liam finally broke the silence. “What happened?” He asked in a low voice. 

Harry clenched his jaw, but said nothing. Zayn scoffed, while Niall mumbled out a quiet response. “It’s, um, it’s a long story.” He said, thinking back to when he and Zayn were making out against the wall of his bedroom. 

“I have time.” Liam snapped, cutting Niall’s next words off. “And where the hell is your shirt, Malik? Don’t tell me you two were making out after all this.” He added, groaning. 

Niall flinched at Liam’s harsh tone and accusation, making an attempt to disappear into the couch. Zayn, however, whipped his head up to glare at Liam furiously. “For your information, Payne, my shirt is wrapped around Niall’s arm to stop it from bleeding after he was stabbed. Maybe if you’d shut the fuck up and listen to him you would stop being such an asshole.” Zayn shot back at Liam, who looked shocked at hearing that Niall was stabbed.

Liam clenched his jaw and held Zayn’s glare strongly despite his growing concern for his friend. Niall swallowed hard, while Harry scoffed and interrupted. “Don’t tell me I have to say it all over again.” He mumbled, glaring at both Liam and Zayn. 

Liam and Zayn looked at Harry and back at each other, eventually calming down enough for Niall to speak again. “Um, like I said, Li, it’s a long story.” He said quietly, not making eye contact with his friend. 

“And like I said, Niall, I have time.” Liam shot back, glaring at Niall furiously. 

Niall flinched and felt his eyes water. There was nothing that he hated more than when Liam was mad at him. It felt like he had done something wrong, and he just wanted to cry. Out of the corner of his eye, Niall saw Louis shake his head at Liam’s anger sadly, and Harry shooting Liam a warning glare. Zayn moved his hand up to Niall’s hair, playing with it softly to make him look up. Zayn gave Niall an encouraging look, and Niall soon turned back to Liam with a sigh. 

“Zayn was over before all this started.” Niall began in a quiet voice. He told Liam, Louis and Harry everything, from leaving his apartment to running into Nick and Alex. Of course, he left out a few things, like the details of his and Zayn’s fight before he left Louis’, not wanting to give Liam another excuse to beat Zayn up. He also failed to mention just how much Zayn had taken care of him after Nick and Alex left, just saying that he “was there for me for a long, long time”.

When Niall finished, he could see Harry’s eyes glittering with tears. He looked at his friend in concern. “You alright, Haz?” Niall asked. 

Harry sniffled. “I just… I hate that this had to happen to you, Nialler.” He said quietly. “I wish I was there for you, and I’m so sorry. I’m happy you’re okay, and I know I have Zayn to thank for that.” Harry added sincerely, looking at Zayn gratefully. 

Zayn nodded at Harry, clearly happy at the change in mood. Louis kissed a crying Harry on the cheek sweetly, trying to calm him down. “He’s okay, love.” Louis comforted kindly. “Thank you, Zayn. I mean it.” He added once Harry’s tears had slowed. 

Zayn nodded again and twirled his fingers in Niall’s hair absentmindedly. Liam broke the silence with a low voice. “So you just came in and got those two out of here? And spent over two hours helping Niall after?” He asked, looking at Zayn, who blinked and nodded silently, unsure of what to say. “Guess I should thank you, then.” Liam mumbled, allowing himself to smile gratefully at Zayn.

Niall let out a breath he didn’t know he had been holding, while Zayn smiled back at Liam. “Right then, you’re all not mad at me anymore?” He asked playfully.

Louis laughed, and Liam shook his head slowly. “I know that those guys were here for you, but you saved Niall. That’s what matters.” He said. “But, Zayn, could this happen again?” Liam asked, causing everyone in the room to turn their attention to Zayn in anticipation. 

Zayn blinked. “I love Niall.” He said defiantly. Louis’ mouth fell open in surprise, while Liam’s jaw clenched. “Cowell knows that now, judging by the reaction I had when Nick hurt him, so, yes, it could happen again.” Zayn admitted, locking eyes with Niall. 

“So what are you going to do?” Harry asked in a small voice, breaking the silence. 

Liam answered before Zayn or Niall got a chance. “You’re going to protect him, Zayn. We all are. And we’re going to protect you, too.” He declared.

Niall’s eyes filled with tears at Liam’s words, as did Zayn’s. The two stared at each other for a moment longer, before Niall broke eye contact to look at Liam. “Thank you, Li.” He said quietly, standing up to hug his friend. 

Liam hugged back tightly, earning a pained yelp from Niall when he accidentally squeezed his arm. He instantly pulled away, looking at Niall fearfully. “Are you okay? What did I do? Do you need anything?” Liam rambled.

Niall shook his head, smiling at Liam’s worry. “I’m fine, Li. Really.” He assured, laughing lightly. Liam nodded, still looking unsure. “Fine, if you really want to help you can go to the grocery store and get me some food, seeing as I’m not going to be going to class for a while. Get me a proper bandage while you’re out, too, so Z can wear a shirt again.” Niall added. 

Zayn perked up. “I can do that, love.” He supplied. 

Niall shook his head, feeling a rush of confidence. “Nope, you’re staying with me.” He demanded, grabbing his hand tightly. 

Zayn smiled and kissed Niall on the cheek, his smile growing when Niall’s cheeks turned a light shade of pink. “Got it, Ni.” He said.

Niall laughed lightly and pushed at Zayn’s bare chest playfully. “Go put on a shirt, you menace. I have extra in my room.” He teased.

Louis rolled his eyes when Zayn didn’t move. “Come on, Z.” He said, tugging Zayn into Niall’s room, leaving Niall alone with Liam and Harry. 

“So, you were stabbed.” Harry said suddenly, breaking the silence. 

Niall and Liam laughed. “I guess so.” Niall responded, shrugging. 

“And you’re dating Zayn?” Harry asked, looking at Niall curiously, Liam doing the same. 

Niall looked down. “I, um, I don’t know.” He admitted. “He said he loved me.”

“We heard.” Liam commented teasingly. 

“No, I mean earlier. Before you guys came over.” Niall explained. 

Liam and Harry were silent for a minute, Harry eventually breaking it. “And what did you say?” He asked slowly. 

“I said it back.” Niall said strongly, smiling softly at the memory. He loved Zayn. He loved Zayn so much that he didn’t know what to do with himself. He loved Zayn so much that he didn’t even care if he had been stabbed in the arm, or if he was in danger from some drug lord. Sure, it sounded a bit cheesy, but all Niall could focus on was just how much he loved Zayn. Because, for once, it was clear to him, to Zayn, to Liam, to everyone in the world. Niall Horan loved Zayn Malik. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yeah, niall’s okay. i probably should’ve broken that chapter up into smaller ones, but oh well.  
> \- liv xx

**Author's Note:**

> hi again! did you like it? if you want, leave a comment to let me know (or to tell me about any mistakes you found)!  
> \- liv xx


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